Not over my breakup

@lolo1997 I am so sorry to hear he ghosted you from what it seems your pretty strong for not wanting to reach out or find out what happened being single sometimes is better no one gets hurt brst of luck to you.

@lolo1997 Hi Lolo.. So your relationship ended a year ago, and you still feel in such a haze after it all. Wow, with him for five years. Well, no wonder you still feel so crazy. A relationship ending like that can feel almost traumatic in a way that it's so unexpected and a shock. Those were five entire years of your life taken to be dedicated to this guy and he threw it all away so suddenly and for seemingly no reason. For him to say I love you and then vanish is even more confusing and hurtful. How could someone who claimed they loved you, so quickly take away five years of your life without a simple explanation? That shows that he was inconsiderate about your feelings and about how ghosting you would affect you. That's absolutely ridiculous that he didn't give you a reason. It's bad enough to leave someone after five years after committing to them through a relationship to always stick by their side, but without even a reason? That's very messed up. You did deserve a reason, and it will be natural to wonder why this person who you spent so long with just poofed on you that way. I'm glad that after the breakup you focused on yourself. For someone to be so selfish and take away all you invested into that relationship, it's great to focus on yourself after that mess. Lolo, I wanted to say that I went through a very similar thing. Although my ex didn't completely poof out of nowhere, she did leave me VERY suddenly with a crappy explanation. I had no idea where to go and how to move on and continue my life after that. The first few days after my breakup were spent lying on my bed in complete denial and shock, feeling detatched from reality because I thought that it just couldn't be real. My life had always included her, so to suddenly not include her felt so freaking weird. It's now six years later and I still wonder if she regrets leaving me, why she left so soon, if she ever even loved me. You will likely carry those questions with you forever. Five years is a long time, and I assume you truly did love this person. When you get into a relationship, you become so incredibly vulnerable with everything and all of your emotions. I'm not going to say that the solution to this is to replace him. Whether you have a man or not, you can and will persevere through this crappy thing this person selfishly did to you. That relationship is best to just be left behind in the past, and I'm glad that you don't want him back. Nothing can change the outcome of the way things went the way they did. People do very crappy things to people in this life and we are all forced to just keep on pushing despite it, feeling so confused and weird. You probably felt very confident in him and his love for you. There's nothing more confusing than someone who you were so sure loved you, to just go "bam, bye bye", like the relationship meant nothing to them. I wish I could tell you why people do this to us, I really wish I could. But I don't think us normal people will ever really know. You and I probably just sit here after the shock and wonder what the heck would drive someone to do that. Your relationship lasted longer than mine did. Five years, that's half a decade! And us humans are only here so many decades. I'm so sorry he wasted so much of your time and effort. I think that the people that leave us so suddenly are selfish and only thinking of themselves. For example, my ex left me because of issues with my depression and did not want to stick around even though I swore to begin therapy and medication. I am not sure why your ex left this way. It's possible he was wanting to leave but didn't want to make himself vulnerable to your criticism when breaking up with you. And that is so selfish of him to sit there and ignore your calls when he could use his brain to imagine the complete despair you must be in. When my ex left me, I felt so confident that we would get married too, just like you felt. We talked about it! I was close to her parents, her niece, a few of her friends. I came to the realization that she must've turned them against me too; something I never thought a love of mine would do. Getting into relationships is vulnerable and I'm sorry it turned out for the worst. I am sure you are thankful it ended sooner rather than carrying on and wasting more years of your life. Of course you still feel hurt, Lolo. This was a completely awful and VERY emotionally hurtful thing this person did to you. It's six years later for me and I still think about it and wonder. I have a best friend I feel confident loves me and I hope that you have someone in your life that actually treats you well too. If you feel very very wary after all this, that's so normal. This person took your heart and your trust and tore it in half for his own selfish reasons. I know it feels so confusing and very painful. I don't know what us sufferers should do other than focus on ourselves and our lives and struggle and get through this together. This is your life. Choosing to share your life with someone is such a big step and it hurts so bad when they hurt us. But now that he is gone, the focus needs to be on you again. There is only one life of yours and none of it should have ever been wasted by another person. I feel that this will always make no sense. Heck, it probably still wouldn't make any sense at all even if he did come back and say his "excuse" to ignoring you. There really is no good excuse; he's just a selfish person. I wish I could heal the pain for you or take this away. I guess we just both have to try to carry on with our life, and re-take our lives back. I am sorry I can't fix this, but I hope that my reply made you feel at least a little bit less alone in your struggle...