Please help! Idk if I should go through with the breakup
Hi everyone,
Im here because I need an unbiased 3rd party opinion about this…
For some context, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and most of these 3 years has been great. I love and care for him so much and he is patient, kind and would do anything for me.
Back in April we got into a HUGE fight that almost caused us to breakup. It was regarding the fact that he treated me poorly one night by yelling at me and disregarding my feelings. This comes after almost 4 months of consistent behaviour from him where he would be dismissive, rude at times and wouldn’t listen to me. He would also hold in his feelings a lot which caused these outbursts.
After this fight he made a commitment to change his behaviour and get help regarding what’s been going on in his life that caused him to be like this. He followed through with the commitment and has been working very very hard at it.
Things were really good for awhile after April. Until July I had felt like things were back to normal and I was really happy again! At the end of August we had another situation where he held his feelings in about something. It wasn’t a big blowout like in April but it was frustrating for me and I was hurt.
Okay, that’s the backstory and here’s where I’m at now.
Ever since that incident in August I’ve been really feeling sad and different in this relationship. My patience is running low for little things and I feel emotionally drained. I feel really distant and I’ve considered breaking up but I want to give this another chance, one more chance where I put effort in as well. I love him so much, we both do and there’s so much respect and care for each other that I don’t want to lose him. The thought of breaking up makes me cry and I never thought we’d get to this point. Idk what to do. It feels like my brain is going through a breakup right now and preparing me in advanced but I don’t know what I’d do without him. I used to be so excited to eventually move in together and go to the next levels in our relationship but now I can’t even think of these things because of all that’s happened.
(we’ve also talked about all of this and he’s well aware of all my current thoughts. He’s patient and is telling me to do what my heart tells me to)
if anyone could please help me id really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Your natural institution is going to prepare you for the worst while you hope for the best. Has he figured out what may cause him to hold back his feelings at points? Thats a core thing to work on together. Maybe he needs to stick with therapy so he can process some feelings without feeling he may hurt you. And follow your heart. If you give him a chance and can't handle it going back to the problem, you need to stand by your decision. Sometimes a trial test on living together might help to see where it may go. Alot can happen and communication is key and trust.
@cherrytomato123 If your boyfriend's attitude towards you suddenly changes a lot, you need to pay attention. I have reason to suspect that your boyfriend is in love with someone else and is trying to get you to break up in this way. Just break up, I suggest you just break up, no matter how long you've been together and now you're uncomfortable with the relationship, then you shouldn't continue. You should judge the relationship now. 1. Is the releation reallygood？2.and what you gain in this relationship compare what you lose. These two questions are particularly important, and if the answers are unsatisfactory, you can consider whether the relationship should stop there.
