Potential break-up?

@pinkraspberries32

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My partner and I recently got into a fight about breaking up but Im not sure if it is official or not. A couple of months ago I woke up with a gut feeling we were going to break-up. (This tells you were feeling very anxious, disconnected, and thoughts you were going to lose him). I was really freaked out about this because I really care about my partner and dont want to break up. (You are in survival mode here, so you will probably do and say things to force a reconnection and it will push him away. People in survival mode might lash out, become negative, say hurtful things, become manipulative or controlling in an effort to make their partner behave like they used to). I couldnt really ignore this feeling though so I eventually asked him Do you ever think about breaking up? (You said this in an indirect way so he would bring up the topic, and to soothe your anxiety and uncertainty). They told me I think we should so we could focus on ourselves. (These kind of statements comes from someone who feels overwhelmed or smothered. This is a way to basically ask space from the relationship). To give so context, they are starting school again (the first day was yesterday) after having recently leaving due to a suicide attempt. I know working hard and having a good work ethic is important to them, and Im scared they will use school as an reason to just go through with this decision. (It's understandable you feel this way after what he said, it will not feel good inside after hearing his response to your question. I do believe your fear of being abandoned or thrown away are taking over, so it becomes hard to soothe those feelings). They are currently ignoring my messages and Im afraid they will never reach out to me again. (This tells me you are in survival mode with high anxiety, you are becoming very focus on reducing your anxiety to the point you are losing empathy for what he wants, which its to be alone. It's a bad idea to keep contacting someone who is ignoring you, the more you contact him, the more you'll push him away to the point he won't want this relationship.) I said some horrible things to them because they said we should break up ((You said horrible things on an attempt to force reconnection and because you lost emotional self control at the thought of losing someone. It's very important to work on this very hard, if not then this will keep taking over you) so I understand they are mad and need space. (Yes which means never contacting him again until he contacts you first) They also said they arent sure what they want anymore either, (It's important to not invest too much time or effort on someone who is not sure of what they want, the more you go after him, the more confused and unsure he will get.) and Im afraid that that means our relationship is doomed. (It will be doomed if you don't stop going after him when he backs away)