Recent breakup
Two weeks ago my ex boyfriend of one year broke up with me. During the relationship he treated me amazing, besides the fact that we used to argue and he would lash out and call me really mean things. He felt so guilty for doing so but i always made sure he didn’t feel bad and always forgave him. We were each other’s best friends. He used to break a lot of promises as well and I would lose trust a little bit but I always pushed my doubts away to believe him. I did so much for him like wake up at four in the morning and wake him up through the phone so he could do his chores. I blocked people for him. Didn’t go out so he wouldn’t worry about my safety. I didn’t wear certain things so he was comfortable. He also would ask if he did t want me talking to people or wearing certain things. But even when I was so overwhelmed I never gave up. His dad is mentally abusive and can be physically and I helped him through that. There was a point where he was overwhelmed with his dad how he treated ,e he didn’t know whether to stay with me or not. He ended up staying with me. But recently we broke up because we know we have to work on ourselves. We were texting here and there and he said he’d be ready by Valentine’s Day and then a few days later he told me he doesn’t want to try for a relationship again right now. I asked him if he saw a future with me he said no but that he wanted one, and that I was right person wrong time. iPad said he wasn’t emotionally ready for a relationship, was too immature and wanted to be single. Then he wanted to say bye but I had what I wanted to say and I ask I didn’t understand and still don’t understand what changed his mind. I asked if he would flirt and he so no not for a long time. The next day I caught him flirting and said he was like this guy who hurt me the same way but I wasn’t dating him, and then my ex got mad at me for saying that bc he hated him for doing that to me. I don’t understand why his mind did a 180 and why he fell out of love. He blocked me on everything and said it was because he felt guilty. But I saw he was posting tik toks all happy like he doesn’t care. Does he miss me at all? Did he care for me? Does our relationship mean anything to him? Will he regret losing me because I was a great girlfriend who put up with emotional abuse bc I knew he could change and saw he could before he did that and I was so proud of him. Will he end up missing me as a partner for me? How do I stop wanting him? How do I stop wishing him to come back to me?
First I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this breakup and I hope this message to answer some of your questions and that it will give you a little bit of relief.
Reading through your post it seems you invested a great deal into this relationship and your time and effort seemed to not be appreciated. Being unappreciated and feeling he didn’t value your time, care or effort has to suck.
The post mentioned that he said he wasn’t emotionally mature enough to continue in the relationship and that he’s blocked you from platforms. What I’m about to say I pray doesn’t come off insensitive, but when a person knows that that aren’t good for you as much as it hurts we have to believe them.
The posting on Tik Toc like he’s all good means nothing it’s all for show put no weight on that. What you can put stock in is that he did have the courage to stop hurting you, the courage to admit he’s not good for you right now. That he cared enough to block you not to hurt you but to help the both of you. Keeping a portal of any kind open wouldn’t give you guys a chance to really start healing.
The lies the flirting, the broken trust was bound to get worse. The pain you feel right now would have been accompanied by anger and content for him. From the things you’ve posted about him and his behaviours show that he isn’t ready for a relationship that he has a lot of maturing to do.
The wanting him and him to come back is going to last for a little but but because your investment, your time were sincere and this was a major part of your life and now it’s gone, it’s like missing a limb you’re going to feel it. You’re going to mourn your loss, through the questions of why,what could you have done differently, how do you move on. These are natural feelings doesn’t make them hurt any less but through time and taking the time to process it all it will start to feel a little less crappy each day.
Theough support from your friends family and maybe a chat with a professional counsellor you’ll find that you have to be the priority for yourself.
Regrettably as a young man myself I had to get to a place of realizing I wasn’t emotionally prepared for a relationship, I hate that others had suffer through my growing pains, this isn’t on you this is on him the 1st he felt comfortable enough to break promises and flirt and things he should have stopped it then not tried to save himself and hurt you at the same time.
Again I hope that you’ll find some peace with this soon and if there’s anything that I can do to help please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thank you for this message it helped a lot I will come to u if I need help:)
