Relationship
I been dating a guy that was my friend for a few years we have got back in contact and have been dating for 7 months just like every relationship we had to learn each other our likes and dislikes and explain them so that it don't continue to happen.There was a few things that he had issues with from me and i fixed them all because i actually want to be with him. He is verbally aggressive and sometimes i feel as if he handles me like i am a guy and an enemy. He talks very aggressive to me alot i am unable to approach him about my problems and when i do he gets angry and yells at me. He never tries to listen and he blames everything on me. He tells me if i wouldn't be so sensitive it wouldn't be a problem. And to just let him say and talk how he want. Going on i told him maybe a week ago that i wanted out of the relationship because he refused to change and he said that he don't believe he does anything wrong. He then got upset and told me that i gave up on him and its my fault for not understanding him. I have been trying and i told him in order for this to work we both have to change not just me. 2 days ago he wanted to start a business with me and i told him just from my personal belief i couldn't but ill support him. He then cut me off as usual and begin yelling and insulting me. I then stated that we both agreed to work on these things for our relationship he still continued to do the same thing and told me im talking business this have nothing to do with our relationship and continued to verbally abuse me. I set there with nothing to say for about 15 minutes. He didn't care that i was hurt about his actions towards me as usual. It really hurts me and it hurts even more that he is not willing to work on it . After that he said he will call me back i said ok. And i cried myself to sleep its been 2 days since i talked to him . He have been calling i just cant bring myself to even talk anymore I'm just over it and i been thinking about him every second of the day. Am i wrong to leave or should i talk to him knowing that it will never end well. Whenever i tell him How he hurt me he curses me out and says that he is not a bad person so he don't believe that.
@resourcefulSky5672
It sounds like you give him all the respect and try to win his affection, and attempt to build a stable relationship with him but, he's into a sabotage mode where he ensures that he destroys anything that you do or build, then makes you the scapegoat or blames you outright because of the destruction.
He does not respect you. He doesn't have the patience to conduct himself properly. He doesn't want to change his ways, because he likes who he is just fine. He has no empathy to consider how his behavior, communication style and actions harm others around him - especially you. To get into a business with him would be disastrous, with you getting blamed for anything that went wrong even if it wasn't your fault at all.
In the end, blame doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whose fault a situation is. Blame solves NOTHING. It serves zero purpose. So, stop worrying about what he feels you're guilty of, what you didn't do, what you can't measure up to, because you'll likely never be able to please this man.
Perhaps one day, he may realize that his issues are causing people to distance themselves (protect) from him, because of the way he treats them. Then again, maybe not.
The only person in this situation that is looking out for you and your best interests is you. No one else.
As you said, you're over it. Then, it's time to take the next step and remove a toxic person from your life indefinitely. It's sad, you gave it your all, your best effort, but that still wasn't enough because of his issues - which are NOT your fault nor your responsibility. That's right, it's not your responsibility to fix him. To him, he doesn't think he's even that broken or has any issues at all, and there is the problem.
Do yourself a favor, and walk away. Cut contact. Regain happiness in your life, and enjoy the freedom of being single for a while. Find a hobby. Go for a walk. Enjoy the sunshine. There is another pathway for your life that is possible, but you must take the steps to get there... and including someone that is toxic along the journey is only going to sour your experience. Life is just simply too short to allow someone to treat you like a doormat, and feel completely justified in doing so.
So glad I read this today. It’s awful when no matter how hard we try there are people who still end up blaming us when things are not right. When they and their issues are the actual problem really. They will never see that. Hardest thing to do is walk away and not look back. But that means there’s hope of better and healthier for us, whereas the toxic person will repeat the same pattern over again but next time without you. My ex has been doing it for 5 years now and I hoped he’d change….in case there was hope of him being back as a father to the kids…..but without me around to blame and take his anger out on he is still doing exactly the same stuff anyway. He has issues that I can’t fix even if I’m the most patient and giving person in the world. I just took the blame. And got told I was too sensitive. I had to leave and watch what he did over the next years to really find that out.
