Sad

i have been married to my husband for 4 months plus and together for nearly 2 years now. After marriage, we have been fighting almost every day over same issues. He work night life and always end work 3am on weekdays and 4am on weekends. And he always can't control when he drinks. A few times already come home drunk or high. I keep asked him not to drink so much but always he say ok but nv done it.

And when he called me when he ended work, if he sound drunk again, I will nag and say him and he will angry. He will off his phone and don't return home till next day. The worst was he return home the next day evening and I txt him to beg him to come back. His reason was don't want come home fight so he don't come back.

Last Friday we had an argument because he lent a female colleague money and hide it from me. And we fight over this because this lady work morning shift and he work night. There's not much contact so why instead of asking others femal colleagues or those she work with in morning shift, she has to ask him? I was jealous as she keep text him to ask him help her. I know he only lend small amount but I was upset about it becos he nv tell me and lie to me about it and I told him before don't want him too close with her. He claims he no feelings for her and she's married. But I still feel weird.

And because of this argument, he wants to divorce. He called my parents to ask them fetch me back home and till now he totally do not want to be together no matter what I say. I try txting him he also don't care. I don't know what to do now. This relationship is very insecure but I dunno how to let go...