Separated since August
My husband and I have been struggling for the last few years. Things got bad this past summer and I ended up kicking him out in August. Short story, He has a drinking problem and we have two young kids. I had to do what was best for the kids.
When he first moved out he talked about getting help and doing whatever he can to fix things. That lasted a week. He now goes to bars multiple nights a week and he even has a girlfriend. He comes over a couple times a week to see the kids but it’s never longer than 10 minutes. He claims he’s to busy and doesn’t have the time for them. I don’t push the issue. I let him know it’s up to him to have a relationship with the kids.
He hasn’t helped me financially with the kids since I kicked him out. He claims he can’t afford to help which isn’t true. He gets paid weekly, one of his paychecks is how much I make in a month!
He refuses to talk to me about divorce. He knows I will get full custody and he will have to pay me child support which is why he won’t talk to me about it.
I would file for divorce but I financially can’t afford to right now. The other problem the house is in both of our names and I know I will be force to sell the house when I file for divorce. I am in no position to find a new place to live for my kids and I.
I can’t find a better paying job right now because my daughter is having surgery at the end of February. Switching jobs would mess with our insurance.
I am happier because I no longer have to deal with him coming home drunk all the time and us arguing all the time. My kids seem happier too.
I’m just stuck right now. I’m stressed. I’m scared for what this new year will bring. I’m raising two kids on my own and struggling paying the bills while he is living his best life. Sorry this is long.
@honestSea9740 I sounds like you made a hard decision that was in the best interest of you and your children. Happy New Year! The most important thing is that you are clear on what is going on and what you need to do. Congratulations!
I am sorry you are struggling and i think you should talk with him .....about the support for your children and if you fall behind on house for example would impact his credit as well ......
i am married to an alcoholic and every so often i would ask for them to explain why alcohol is more important then anything else .......
not knowing how old your kids are but have seen very young well aware of the choice dad is making with drinking over them and some GF who is a drinking buddy .......who does not question his drinking those are not solid relationships. kids also see the stress on you to pay for things and like i said even at young ages can affect their relationships for long term
my spouse had treatment / had big problems with being in trouble driving etc .... as my kids became older i thought they were over it as it was much better .......
they still hold resentment for all the money he wasted digging out of holes caused by his problem we could have been much better off took vacations etc
The fact he may have had them in car at times and had zero regard ...... this will most likely stay their whole life and he is not allowed to drive grandchild anywhere even now clean because daughter has no trust in him ......... feel free to tell you spouse this IS what happens it is not something others forgive and forget WHEN and IF HE decides to clean up his act.
