She left me after 4 years.. I did everything to her.. she changed 180 degrees but I still love her

2 years ago there was an argument over she having some boys who always share porn stuff or inappropriate content over their social media account i told her to remove them and it went good and everything was perfect.. months after months she talked to me about it and she wanted them back because nth can harm her and it's normal to have them.. i told her this upsets me and they are useless so please just let's don't open this topic again.. until I found from 2 months that they are again at her social media.. so we had a fight and told her now you are lying and now you are doing things on your own and you know that this thing frustrates me and we flighted about it alot why u are really want them so bad.. anyways she came and apologized after days.. she had important exams she said I am here now apologizing because my exams will begin like 2 days and I will not be online all day so I don't want this time to pass while you are sad.. and said if we can talk about it after the finishes I told her it's over for me this topic is closed and nothing will happen and she said okay no problem.. and we kept talking like normal and I always encouraged her every night and call her an hour and talk to her before she sleeps and always give her support before And after the exams.. the last day of exams she came back upset from the exam but I managed to support her and make her feel better.. she told me I miss you and I love you.. after like half an hour she told me can we talk I told her of course she opened the topic again and we ended breaking up as she thinks that I am a. controller and I will always make her take decisions she doesn't want... and I didn't even do this anytime.. only this topic was really frustrating as well as these boys aren't important so it's easy to fix but she always told me it's not about the social media accounts it's about that you are controlling.. anyways I begged and pleaded.. don't leave me we will fix it.. i did this for 3 days consectuvily and at the last day between our chat she told me I don't love you anymore I am afraid and not comfortable... I knew that words like that always come at those days that the person is really upset so. I didn't make a big deal from it.. anyways we stopped talking a week and I sent her a vn telling her let's meet she told me why I told her let's just meet and talk it's 4 years and it can't end like this.. she said okay no problem tomorrow we will meet.. this night she sent me a message telling I don't wanna meat as It is useless and nothing will happen its over for me and we will not come back.. told her I just want to meet you.. she said if u really want this so we can meet but I will let you only talk I will not talk.. I told her okay.. anyways I was traveling Friday with family and I was supposed to come back to cairo Monday then travel again Tuesday with friends so I told her I am traveling and we can meet Monday when I am back she told me okay..saturday I called her and check up on her and told her so we will meet Monday right she said yes.. Sunday morning I woke up to messages from her saying the exact same thing and I will not be comfortable I don't wanna meet andshe even told. me not to respond to this messages and this is what I did I didn't reply... I waited a week as it's her exams results and it was really important and I wanted to know how she did.. I talked to her at whatsapp and she told me that the got a very bad results.. I cheered her up in a 20 minute voice note and told her everything is gonna be fine.. and after 5 days I called her and told her to meet and try to fix any thing.. and if you aren't comfortable then leave me and don't talk but let's just meet.. she refused again and told please don't try more I really don't wanaa get back. I told her okay enough hurting words but we should meet to to fix anything but now after you refused again we need to meet to end things in a proper way... she accepted.. when I saw her I just told everything literally in my heart and said to her that I am really not believing yet that we aren't together and I still love her.. I told her that I tried to save the relationship not 1 time but 5 times and nth worked but I did this because I love you not because I am weak..also to not regret in the future that I didnt try with you... she kept crying.. from the beginning of the meeting till the end.. and in the half of the meeting I told her did u really mean that msg when you told me I don't love you anymore she said no I didn't mean it and she was crying.. anyways I told her I still love you and have faith like 1 % that we can get back.. but i will not initiate a conversation again i did my best.. then I shaked hands with her and smiled then I got out the cofe shop... ah yeah I forgot something... after the break up like 2 day she restricted me on Facebook... *restriction means that I can't see her new posts or anything just her profile picture * and she added back all the boys at Instagram.... anyways after the last day we met and talked as I told you.. she unrestricted me so it's normal for me to see her posts now and everything.. and yeah she keeps seeing my Instagram stories as well as I still do.. i really love her but I can't handle this anymore.. I chased her alot but now it's time to have some self worth but I really think about her every minute and when I see a photo of her and all this stuff.. i dont know what to do I feel like I am killing my self I just want her so bad and want her to come back to apologize...this is not in details I swear but i tried to cover alot of things