Should I try again or move on
For a while, I've been unhappy in my marriage. We met in college when we were 16 and now, 15 years later we have been married for almost 7 years.
We've always had an intimacy problem. He says he does enjoy it but finds initiating it awkward. I think it's down to the fact I had a kidney transplant and so he doesn't want to physically hurt me. He says that isn't the case so I'm stuck in this situation where I'm literally gagging for it!
I feel he hasn't got my back. He's let some snide little comments from his family be said to me. I've felt quite hurt by them but unable to say anything as it's his family. I'd love him to fight my corner.
When I was unwell recently he knew I had a high temperature and it meant I'd most likely need to go to hospital to have my kidney checked over. He chose to go to work while I tried to call the nurses in the unit. Later, I couldn't get hold of him by phone and so text him that I had to go on around 1ish and he didn't offer to take me out be with me. I had to get hold of my parents, who are retired, to drive out of their way and do a double trip to help me out.
He often says "I'm here for you" but now I just cant believe him. He's let me down before a I feel so alone in this battle that is life.
I've been feeling low lately and he said that phrase again this morning. I asked him not to say it and he started with silent treatment of me. I didn't understand why he was being childish and so outright asked him and he flew off the handle.
I don't know what to do.
@rosettafaery
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Maybe my story can shed some light and help you.
I left my husband last year. For months prior to my leaving I sat him down several times and told him how I didn't appreciate him rejecting my sexually all of the time (I can totally relate to your begging situation). I didn't feel sexy. I didn't feel appreciated. I didn't feel like I was a priority to him. I always felt like I was on the last of his to-do list, and that he took me for granted. I despised his mother, and the fact that he is a mother's boy and always tood by her side over mine drove me nuts. He would speak for me, he would control me (in the sense that I apparently don't have a mind of my own so he made my decisions for me). He had a "we're married, so you are stuck with me" attitude. Oh I could go on and on...
After trying to tell him how I felt, with nothing being done about it or any sort of change on his part, I got sick of it and left. Just packed up a few things and left. And I can tell you.... although it was the hardest most difficult decision I've ever done at the time, and I'm shocked I actually had the balls to do it.... It was the best decision I have ever made. I am much more happier now. And I now have the time to find someone that will love me for me, and make me priority to him, as he will be priority to me.
I hope that helped. Take care of yourself first before worrying about others. You have to live with you for the rest of your life darlin!
I've moved this to Relationship Questions.
