Sick of this
Hi everyone, I'm Ted and I'm 19 years old.
Over the past half a year I have been in and come out of two toxic relationships.
The first was long distance with a girl who lived 50 miles away from me, who turned out to be a complete nutter. After we broke up, she called me and said she thought she had still found the right guy in the bloke who cheated on her previously. I felt so worthless and taken for granted.
The second started off great. We'd see each other often as she lived 10 mins away. We would make out in my car and all that. It was all going rather well for quite a while. But then she told me that she would be going to parties and necking on with girls without me knowing beforehand, as she was bisexual. She was honest because she told me but this happened on several occasions. She also tried to make me go to places I didn't want to go. She was controlling me and in the end, she broke me. Again, this made me feel worthless, unwanted and taken for granted.
For a while after I did not get much sleep at night. I was having panic attacks and breakdowns in the middle of the night because I felt this way so much. These have since subsided but it is still something that affects me every single day.
I am sick of being made to feel worthless. All I have ever wanted is for someone to understand how I feel and love me and accept me for who I am. I would be very grateful if someone in this amazing community could give me some advice on how to get over all this.
Love you guys 😊💙
@Tedp1998 Hi there, first I want to say thanks for sharing and for reaching out to us! That takes a lot of courage to open up like that about the ways we've been hurt. What you've been through in your past two relationships does not sound easy but I am glad you are here and have gotten through it so far. Let me start by saying that you are definitely not alone in this. I too and many people I have talked to have been with one or more people that in the end don't treat us right or simply don't give us what we are looking for in a relationship. I think each and every person just wants to feel accepted for who we are, without the fear that they will leave or hurt us. In a sense, I try to view it that when someone shows us their true colors or when things just don't work out, we are one step closer to finding someone that will accept us, and will be able to form a connection and relationship with us that does last and that does work out in the end. I know it sounds cliche but don't give up, the person for you is out there and you will find them one day. In terms of healing and taking care of yourself during this time, don't hesitate to do things for you that you enjoy doing and that make you feel good. Self-care is very important especially after being in an unhealthy relationship. You want to redefine yourself and show the world that you know your worth and you are not willing to settle anymore. Do you have any hobbies? What helps you to de-stress or to feel good when you aren't feeling your best? I would also advise doing something new to improve yourself (i.e. trying something you've always wanted to try or learning something new) because in a few weeks/months you will see progress with yourself and that is an awesome feeling. Keep the focus on the present moment (not the past) and on the people in your life that care about you and make you feel happy (i.e. friends or family) and of course know that you always have us listeners at 7 cups if ever you need someone to talk to. Hope this helps! Try to enjoy this period of healing and enjoy the time you have to get to know yourself again and show yourself some love! When it gets tough (there will be good days and bad days) remember to take it day by day, hour by hour. You do have the strength to get through this and you will find someone that is right for you in the future. All the best!
@calidescopeheart you don't know how much your words mean to me thank you so much 💙💙
