So Hurt
I lost a piece of my heart on Friday. I found out my boyfriend of 3 years was cheating on me. His birthday is this month and not only did he plan a trip with me, he planned a trip with the girl hes cheating with. They are going out of the country in two weeks. Im so over it. Ive been crying and sleeping on and off since I found out. Havent even eaten. All he can do is apologize and continuously tell me how much he loves me and messed up. Its too late for that because I will never trust him again. This is the same man who took me ring shopping and spending time with my family and I spend time with his family. I just dont know how Im going to get over this. He is the love of my life. Ive never cheated on him, disrespect him or our relationship, and Im always supportive of him. Im just so lost and confuse.
@Taken4Granted
Hi T4G,
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. What a truly painful situation for you to have experienced.
Although it may be hard to tell under what circumstances your boyfriend felt that it was okay for him to engage in seeking out another relationship while still being devoted to you in yours, one thing is for certain: You are who gets to say whether or not this relationship can continue, despite this deep blow to the trust you two share.
Please know that during this time of grieving, your emotions may be so strong that it might hurt too much to do anything to take care of yourself, such as not eating. It will probably be hard, possibly due to anxiety making your tummy cramp whenever you try to eat (personal experience), but if at all possible, please try to have some caloric drinks from time to time, just so your physical body doesn't become as weakened as your heart may feel.
As for how hurtful this is... Honestly, this is a truly devastating situation. For your boyfriend to have gone to the lengths of taking you ring shopping, and for the two of you to mutually enjoy in the company of each other's families, that would typically indicate the a sign that a person is genuinely invested in you.
Whatever his actions might have been truly saying in his own mind, it is important to remember that you did not deserve any of the consequences cause by his poor decision making. If your boyfriend is someone who is not comfortable talking about things, it might have made it hard for him to express to you how he was feeling during your relationship. Again, the ring shopping is quite a surprise, because on one hand, he wanted to propose a longtime commitment with you. On the other, stringing you along would have only worked for so long, until something like this occurred.
There is no real fast-track way to get over the emotional betrayal that has been caused by cheating. Its effects can last well beyond into future relationships, which is why it's so important to try and help heal your heart as soon as you feel ready to take on such a task.
Please know that here at 7 Cups, we'll always be available to listen to your feelings and help you remember that you are not alone. Unfortunately, we cannot offer any therapeutical advice, like how a counselor or therapist could, but we'll be here for you nonetheless. Working through broken trust is no easy task, and you deserve to have the best support available to help guide you through the tough waves that your heart may be feeling.
Much love to you <3
