The Reasons I C

First I love him very much w/ my entire heart, my entire being but I am not healthy. I am not happy. I am not secure in who I am or at least where I am headed as I once was. I feel neglected. I feel abused. I feel ignored. I feel I am not even wanted.

I can't let go of the terrible things he says to me about myself. I know they are false and mean but they are stuck deep. I want you to view me in a better light and the more I try to make him happier w/ me the worse we end up.

I have been forceful and vocal about what I need or want and how I feel and why. This leads to me being told I am a witch and no one wants to hang w/ me. This leads to him lying to me about what he is doing when he will be back and while gone I am completely ignored.

I have been quite and patient about the same things. This leads to him telling me a closed mouth doesnt get feed. He also throws in how petty I am.

I have asked him to leave, I have told him I can't do it any more. His response is always "alright,bet." then he doesnt leave, i put my foot down adn then it just becomes a fight until i just shut up about it. How do i handle this? I can not take being alone all the time, I work 8-5 m-f and the only time I get out of the house is Church and when his family invites us over for lunch or dinner on the weekends, sometimes. There is no understanding or recognition from him about what I have given and what I have lost. While I am always trying to say to him how grateful I am that he has been there and that he is apart of this family this is his home.

Please leave any comments or even message me personally if you would like to provide more help I have way more to say on the issue.

I apologize for being a mess and this not flowing!