The pain of not moving while they move on
Me and my ex fiance broke up almost 3 weeks ago. In that time we got back together for a little and tried again. This recently ended again with her saying she doesn't know what she wants and doesn't think she is in love with me or if she was ever in love with me but she says she still loves me as a friend. She wants us to be friends. Now honestly I've started to realize that she wasn't the woman I thought she was and I've seen an ugly side of her during this whole break up but I still want to be with her. The hardest part of everything is that I have not been able to stop crying or get anything done because I am so depressed but she is out having fun with her friends and moving on already even though our break up is still so fresh. It hurts to realize that this is truly making her happier. When we first broke up she did the same thing but then she told me that at night she cried and drank herself to sleep because she too was hurting but I think after our second attempt now she is over me. It hurts to think that she has moved past when I am stuck in such a dark place. She is coming over today to pick up the rest of her things and talk so that we can try to become friends but I am unsure of what to say. I've writen 3 letters to her, one trying to get her back, one when I was angry and sad, and another when I had accepted the fact that I do not belong in her life but I want to be. I don't think i'll be reading any of them but hopefully we can talk and the words can truly come from my heart.
I think that once my work shift is over alter tonight I am going to text her... I know I shouldn't but I want to talk to her
@SirPounceALot
Just a thought..... I was just wondering have you tried writing your feelings for her in a poem?
You don't need to send her the poem or show it to anyone.... Just write down how you feel deep deep inside. Write it from within your heart not your head... take care and look after you.....
@purplemountain I've written letters before. Some I've sent and some I haven't. It's not that I need to get these thoughts out of my head, I just want to talk to her. I want us to be friends
I still want her in my life even if it causes my heart to break over and over again
Some days are easy while others are harder. I cry and I cry over someone who doesn't care anymore. I'm trying to move on because that's what would be best for me. I keep texting him and he just doesn't reply. I tell him what's on my mind and he just ignores me. He's the only person I want to talk to, but he doesn't give a crap about me anymore... So I need to accept it somehow and get my life together. It's hard for me to even go to the grocery store because everything reminds me of him.
Everything.
@Arvinge even ive gone through same thing....but let go dear....if really care for u he wil come to u...n he wil text u...the efforts u have put wil never go waste if it is genuine...jus go wit the life
We are all together in this guys. My broke up was a long traumatic process that ended in February.... And I'm still in pain. It does get better, but here and there I still miss him. A lot. Like today. I want to text him... I swear today I feel like begging him to come back to me. But it's been too long and he won't talk to me. Sometimes I find myself in denial all over again.
So tonight I made a beautiful mistake. I texted her. I only texted her because I truly want to be friends. I'm over our relationship, like I have a date coming up with another girl. Immediately she was very rude to me. I asked her if she wanted to be friends agian and she said she didn't know. She didn't know if i could even have her as a friend again. She said she didn't believe I could have her in my life especially if she was with someone I hate. I asked her what that meant and she said she is dating her ex. The ex she told me not to worry about, the ex who texted her saying he still loved her, the ex who almost caused me to break up with her 2 months ago... and honestly it didn't affect me. I'm happy she found someone to make her happy. I really just wanted my friend back but I realized now that the person who was my friend is gone. She was a complete bitch to me tonight. I don't even want to be friends with her now. It's freeing to feel this. She is such an awful person. I still hope she finds happiness and I told her that I still consider her my friend and that I am here for her as a friend if she needs me. SHe said thanks and that was that. I'm not going to contact her ever again. As a man of my word I will still be her friend if she needs me but I'm not going to try to force something that isn't there. If she wants to be friends, cool. If not, whatever.
I can't stop laughing at the irony. She breaks up with me because I am "too jealous and controlling about her texting her ex" and then starts dating her ex..... I kinda feel bad for the poor guy. He is clearly a revenge date. Well whatever. Time to start my life
I am in the same boat. My ex has had this cycle of leaving even before we got married years ago. I would always take her back. I believe that she has used me as her crutch when she feels down or not with someone. I'm the type I love with all my heart. She was honest about being confused and scared of not being able to love me like I deserve. I'm trying to do the no contact rule again and work on myself. This is tough to do bc we have been together for years and have children together.
This is what she post on tumblr tonight. It's a quote:
I know I get too quiet. I know I just stop talking. I know I stop replying. I would be lying if I said that you werent always there for me. I know I still lean on you from time to time. I know I still use your arms as crutches. Im bending the skys horizon to fit your smile. Im sorry if Ive made you into an abandoned house. Im sorry if some days, Im not all the way there. Some days, being just a bunch of typed words isnt enough. Some days, I wish I could be there. Our love is an ocean and weve trying to find out how far wed go before we realized this ship was punctured with holes made from when I unknowingly dropped our hearts deep into the sea and Im sorry that I get this way, youve tried and tried and tried, but still some nights, Im still a faded whistle lost inside of the woods. You once said if the sky made room for more, Id be every star that never got to shine and if I never make it to that day and if I never get to be that way. Just know that my love for you will always be solid and I know I disappear, but dont you too?
Youre the way home should feel and I know–
some days, were running out of time.
But today, youre still my heart
and tomorrow, youre still my heart
and next week, youre still my heart
and next year, youre still my heart
and next decade, youre still my heart
and on my death bed, youre still my heart
and in my next life, youre still my heart
and in the one after, youre still my heart
and Ill remember everything about you
because you're still my heart
Fuck this sucks. I still love her and I think I always will
I texted her saying "you will always have a special place in my heart. Good luck in life. i wish you the best. I will always love you and I will never forget you."
She responded with "okay cool"
Just wow..... I guess i really just need to be done with her. I can't even say goodbye to her properly without her just shitting in my face... she is so hateful and rude that I can't even try to end us on a good note
The new tumblr post from after itexted her last night: more quotes....
"You are the reason I