The thought of it all being over
So lets see where to begin ive been married almost 6 years and we have a 5 year old and for a while ill be honest i lied about working cause i didnt want her unhappy and to go away cause when things were rough she did before so i cherish her and do all i thought was right when we needed things i would work for my aunt or people i know to make sure we got what we needed. I was the only one working. Then a month ago she knew i wasnt working told me that she has no feelings for me anymore and she hates me and only thinks of me as our childs father and that just killed me cause i have always tried todo everything for so long. So refuses marriage counseling. Gone to the gym and works just about everyday while im home with child. In order todo what i need todo i need compromise otherwise time just ticks by and i feel helpless and alone i have my child who is my best friend. I just dont see how being just me can fix all this she says is my fault. How can i urn trust when she is hardly here and if its working how can i do that. So i just feel time slipping away and nothing i can do
She's cheating on you with other guys and dog sitting dogs don't need a sitter as long as they got food water toys a bed there happy that's just BS words coming outta her mouth and the boss needs post of eBay over night sleep over post don't take long boss keeps asking cause I think he's the one that's pulling her away from you what is the boss that bloody lazy dosentknow how to do anything like use a computer and do all that shit himself you need to get away if she's hardly ever home and doesn't know if your there or not just pack a few bags with your child and go away for a few days tell your family to lie if she rings up and ask where you both are if she blocked you on Fb not ard to go into settings go into block list and unblock what a load of rubbish that is more Bs outta her mouth if you want to snoop on her make a whole new fb but not one of you make one of a guy some random find a random guy on Google wearing a suit and tie have pics of a nice car and shit but make sure its believing enough for her send her a friend request and see what happens put your single not put anything about kids or anything about you personally this fake guy is a single business man likes to have fun then you'll know who the guy she is talking to and see if she flirts with this fake guy and says things about you the husband on your real fb change it from marriage to whatever else since she blocked you don't know why she would block you when you married but still stupid to do so you need to get away from her even your son doesn't have a mother since she doesn't care about you both always out its always about family spending time together having fun laughs going out to picnics parks holding hands hope your okay you can always talk to me :)
@BrightRedFlower2322 ty for writing it means alot. I already tried the whole fb fake thing and it didnt work. I do know the guys she is talking to and the one she had her affair with. I even tried talking to him and or confronting him but when i do he runs away. I got blamed because i dont listen to her and only cause i wanted to feel loved. Ive found myself unhappy but hanging on by strings so to say. In hopes that things will get better i have hope in that how idk. I ponder moving out of state and away from these people in hopes of a better brighter future cause its really the only way i see things change. But my child and having him move away from friends doesnt seem right to me. So i guess all i can do is work on me and hope for a miracle or an ending.
@passionateSea6213
Your very welcome I'm Here if you ever want to talk on here :)
Oh so the guy runs away from you I think he's scared that he might get kicked or hit by you cause of what he's doing I'm sorry to say this :( but I think ypur marriage is gone she went over the hill by cheating on you that's not a marriage at all I don't blame you for just wanting to be loved cared about and all the lovely love things that two people share your hoping for something that is gone and can't be amended I wouldn't want to have my marriage fixed and back to normal after they cheated on ya how would you know if there 100% in the marriage and ain't sneaking around again you don't have to move states or anything think about you and your child just you both not her anymore If she's doing this to yous I don't think there's nothing you can do but one thing I know you can is to learn to be happy within yourself I know it may be hard I ain't married but it would still be painful and hurt you don't need her toxic poison making you worse you deserve so much better than that if you have any friend's you could hang out with do so have a guys night out road trip fresh air even if you have a few days away from the house with your child a hotel room or even stay with family but I know she's very bad news making you worse you don't need that at all neither you or your child I'm a mother of one and I would never ever ignore my child that's sad when people do that I wouldn't even ignore my partner your together for a reason sickness health rich poor every ups abfand every downs working together helping each other you need to get away from that toxic poison shit
Theres a bright side for everyone every path has sunshine just need time patients and little help to guide you to the colourful bright side keep strong remember look after yourself build your strength up and courage :)
Is just have to get things off my chest and cause since i dont have anyone else to talk to it might just be on here. So i must still be the dumbest person to walk this earth. I am so tired of being hurt by someone that just wants to hurt me. Like ok i thought when the wife said they dated for a week and just kissed i almost believed it well i thought ok fine things would get better. Then tonight i was reading her phone i know stupid and saw a confersation with this other guy who is 11 years older and scary as shit about her taking him to lunch that if there isnt hot water if she can take a shower at his place. And then i conversation with her sister about how when she met him she didnt like him and then this guy breaking up with her for another guy and now this guy got this other girl pregant and im like omg wtf. And then goes and tells this guy she wants to be in her hometown cause there is nothing here for her and im susposed to be the love of her life really. And so i asked her about that and she was saying how she was hacked im like really im susposed to believe all that nonsense and how if she went up to nh for weekend if this other guy would go with her. This is all seriously just some fucked up shit. And im suspose to trust her idk what im doing anymore. I really dont.
Well lately i guess we have been fighting cause she thinks that im controlling and i hold things over her head and that she is going to go to counseling cause of me which is fine i figured we should do that together but she wants to go with her friend cause she feels that she needs to walk on glass with me i guess it is what it is. If we are susposed to be together then we will if not ill be ok.
What can i say things again i thought were going ok we would fight about the same things but overall she has been home more and i noticed she still talks to that guy and bam today all of a sudden he is in a relationship and of course my wife laughs and his post and she just got a message from him this morning so me being me loses it and calls her and is like wtf and she is like i promise its not me. So here i am the fool thinking well maybe its not but it seems to much of a coincidence that i cant let it go so what do i do wait till she tells me like i think or just have more trust. Sighs i really dont know i hate this so much i just want to scream and why in the world is this happening what have i truly done so wrong for it to happen. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. Sighs
Since its been awhile. Things have become rocky and its come to the point i truly have to realize that there is no comming back. It has taken many years i guess to see that i always tried my best but now i see some of the damage i have done. There is no passion there is numbness. Do i trust her now i do but my insecurities have pushed her so away that i can now feel the nothingness in my heart. I still have deep feelings for her but i guess i just didnt know how to handle it. I guess i have become selfish in just what i wanted not seeing the fulll unhappiness i have caused and of course now its to late. I fully now feel the end is near its scary being with someone for so long and then being without. It sucks that i still truly love someone and have it not returned. Maybe i dont know what love really is. And i may never know i guess my thoughts of advice is how do you truly just go on. Saying goodbye is never easy but i have no choice i cant be selfish i have to let her go if i truly love her its whats right.
So this is my life now. My marriage is at rock bottom with no return. There has been strange things behaviors on both sides me i began to turn into a person i didnt like. I had a hard time just believing that her seeing another person was just a mistake and i began to be controling wanting her home not doing overnights and so i pushed her away even though there was signs i just didnt see it. And so she then said she was done she has no feelings at all for me. And left me wanting a seperation. And so i was sad but let her go. Then she came back and talked to me saying that our son needs us both under the same roof we need to be civil and work on each other and if in time her feelings dont come back then they dont. But she still says she loves me and what not. So it confuses my mind. So whats the right thing todo? If things continue like this what happens to me is that i get used to it and get happy and start to think there is nothing wrong. And then bang she is gone and all the pain and feelings just go thru all again. Sighs its just a horrible situation. And just hope for a miracle that i dont ever see. If we dont talk about it and try to talk about other things she just doesnt have much to say. So it ls more of a waiting period till she leaves. So yeah my faith is low my hope is low and just waiting
So now things have calmed down and a little better but. I still feel insecure and i have a feeling she still sees this guy i know they talk all the time but she denies it. I just wish i knew how to get her to stop and just be fully mine but I've come to the conclusion that i cant. So as much as it hurts me i have to just bottle it up inside and deal with it. Its not the life i wanted but i dont see any other way around it.