Two months after no contact, he’s back
My ex-boyfriend and I dated from June to September, we grew a really close bond that went beyond our relationship. He deals with a lot at home and I was the first person he’d run to when he didn’t see the point in anything. We were each other’s shoulder to cry on and I was the first girl he ever told his family about. Things got worse at home for him and he just goes numb. We break up, stay friends and still facetimed until a month later he’s getting to know a girl. We kept it platonic yet he’d always try and see how I’m dealing with our breakup. I was a wreck, I still am. He’s even worse. He makes it official with the girl, she encourages every vice I kept him away from. For the first time, I walked away. Two months have gone by and today I receive a text at the exact time I submitted a apology letter to myself for class. A love letter. It was very strange, almost like a manifestation. “Sally. I need to talk to you. Please.” I felt so angry, don’t you have your new girl you replaced me with? I was mean, I told him “Why are you texting me” “What do you want” and he’d just say “I don’t know” or “Do you hate me?” - Should I seek closure or should I end this chapter? I feel like the healthy option is blocking him but even after deleting the pictures and the phone number, I still feel as if he’s my best friend. We are so young, why should I walk away? I’d hate to think I’m an option but he doesn’t flirt nor bring up anything we did in the past. Does he just want to keep me in his life? I needed to rant really, just tell me your POV on the whole situation. He always would say “I deserve better” or that I’m his Heaven on Earth. His family always taught him crying is for the weak yet he’s so vulnerable around me. It’s time to let go, isn’t it?
I think he’s confused. My ex I met when he was stationed near me. He was my twin! Amazingly awesome sauce but as his deployment came things got rough not in my side but his. He wasn’t sure anymore. I gave him Time I talked to him everyday. Then once his family(sister) said he was to young to settle at 23yrs old. He dumped me. It’s been over 10yrs shit hurts lost my bestie. But ultimately it was unhealthy. Yours sounds similar. I think u should try and forgive and forget. For At least the time being. And when not him but you are ready to settle you will find the one for you
Thank you so much, it feels so weird to not have him by my side anymore. 10 years sounds so far away and I’m so proud that you see the reality of it now, who knew a best friend can hurt you so much. I still feel uncomfortable talking to other boys and I feel better off by myself rather than meeting new people. I still have a lot of anger that I have to work on and my feelings are obviously hurt. We are both just confused, so when the time comes I’ll forgive him. It still feels like something hasn’t been talk about and if I do take the risk and talk to him about it, I’ll hold myself back from feeling any “hope” - I just want to completely make things clear, make sure nothing’s unsaid and move on. I won’t pretend I don’t miss him and that bond with a person but if it keeps hurting me, I can’t remain in the same place. So again, thank you - Your comment gives me another perspective and it helps so so much. <3
I am not sure what path is best for your life, but there is no shame in feeling what you are feeling. Just because love ends for one person doesn't mean it is the same for others. Your ties were clearly deep. Please treat yourself with kindness and acceptance, if you can.
Thank you, there was a point throughout all of this where I felt pathetic for crying when it’s something that obviously hurts. Everyone moves on at a different pace and as long as you don’t remain in the same place you’re hurting yourself, then it’s okay to take your time. I hated myself for feeling, for being vulnerable. It feel like a relief to hear your words, I appreciate it.
I think he’s missing you too. But I also think he is confused. And him having a girlfriend, yet coming to you still isn’t good, unless he plans to get back with you. Sometimes when you cry on each other’s shoulders that turns to love. Sometimes it feels like romantic love, but maybe it is really just a deep caring for someone and not romantic material? If you feel like it’s time to let go, then go ahead. I walked away from a similar relationship when I felt it was time to let go. It was the best choice for both of us.
That does make sense and I don’t like feeling like an option, as a side “piece” or as if the other girl’s a rebound. He needs to figure things out and take his time. I understand the thing about romantic and deep caring and I feel like we have an attachment to one another, it’s more caring rather than romance when it comes to us. But I don’t want to just be emotional comfort, cause he just leaves right after and it makes me feel used. I’m not one to deny anyone from opening up but he hurt me so much and he’s aware of it. He feels guilty. I’m doing better than months ago, that’s for sure and maybe the time to let go it’s nearby. I still want to talk things out and make sure nothing goes unsaid, so that we can truly both walk away. Maybe the people around him don’t listen to him or comfort him the way I do, but I’m not the only girl in this world, even after hurting me I wish for him to find someone who does him good too. I hope I make the right choice. Thank you for replying, it means a lot.
