What do I Do?!?
My girlfriend of 8 months recently opened up to me about something from her past. Before we met, she was in a bad place and got involved with someone who is a close friend of one of my dad’s. She told me because she didn’t want it to come up later if we get serious or married, and now she feels we should end things over it. I care about her a lot, but I’m feeling really confused and hurt, because this person literally all my family events so imagine how awkward it would be if he tells my dad that something has happened between them, that is her major fear
@unassumingWriter1446
Hang in there.
Try to be loving and supportive to your girlfriend. Even if she ends things, let her have her process ... and still be there for her. Talk with trusted friends (here or in real life), so that you can get the support you need.
Once the shock of this news is absorbed, you can discuss how to move forward. I recommend discussing your ideas together as well as separately (like in therapy, or at least with people here at 7Cups).
Let us know how it is going.
@FaithfulScout
i still want the relationship, but her on the other hand, she is completely scared of what people would say and how they would look at her, especially my parents, because remember it’s with a way older man.
so in summary she’s just trying to protect herself. she even made mention that if I didn’t know this person, she would have been willing to continue.
@unassumingWriter1446
Are you both getting support (in real life or here on 7Cups)?
@unassumingWriter1446
It might be awkward if you were to continue and she knows that person is at family events.... but in reality it is in the past. maybe this person i am assuming an older person will remain silent or discreet about whatever was in past.
It is her and your choice but if you truly have feelings for her prehaps a what if situation is worth risking.
@toughTiger6481 she knows I’m fully in to continue the relationship to be honest …..but with all she been saying she’s just trying to trying to protect herself against what people would say and obviously he’s gonna tell my dad that he’s done something with this person and she’s afraid he would not approve after hearing that
@unassumingWriter1446
Does you dad approve of her now? does he think she had no past?
Would he think less of her because this "friend" is a bad person? if so why is he a "friend" ? Why is it obvious he would tell your dad? hiding from things is not protecting ourselves. If she regrets whatever happened before and has moved on........ breaking up what could be a great relationship does not fix or change her past but seems like self punishment.
