almost a year now
i lost my partner of six years in christmas 2017, and he stopped speaking to me at around january. its been a lot of grieving time lost since.
but i met someone else who i really like, almost to a painful degree. we arent dating or anything but i think were into each other and trying not to rush it due to our respective experiences.
its so weird, every time i think im done thinking about the ex he comes creeping back into my mind. whenever i think about my new friend who i might even love, i start feeling guilty and awful, like im somehow cheating on someone who isnt even in my life anymore.
i just dont know what to do or how to act anymore. it hurts to try and talk about my feelings to him so i just tell my old friend, and they make fun of me for how obvious im being with my crush. i feel so foolish all the time right now...
What you feel is absolutely normal. You lost someone who was everything to you, and there's nothing to feel ashamed if you still think about him and it's hard to move on. You're not foolish, you're human! And this just shows how deeply you give your heart to those who love.
Making peace with your feelings isn't easy, but you will, with time. You're doing the right thing by taking things slow with this person you are attracted to. This way, you'll give yourself the chance to get more and more familiar with him before making any big step. As you do it, as the connection between the two of you strengthens at its own natural rhythm, it will also become easier for you to focus on him alone, and separate the memories of the past (which you won't have to give up completely!) and the joys of the present. You're doing your best. Keep taking things slow, get closer to him without pushing yourself too much, and above all acknowledge your feelings, knowing that they're nothing to feel guikty about. I wish you the best!
