One quality I look for in a romantic partner is....
Loyalty
Someone that cares
Loyalty. Through thick and thin. It's easy to accept someone when things are good. I want someone to accept me the days when I'm crying in the middle of the night barley holding it together clutching my chest from anxiety, pain. I want someone to accept me for the good times and especially the bad.
@kaykay231
This.
But what if someone is there through all of it(me) yet somehow she doesn't accept it or reciprocate it back at all when needed. Instead builds a wall of lies and deception? And after 18 years and 2 beautiful children wants to sabotage it and blow it up. She says she loves me, but there is zero passion behind it, zero support, zero grattitude, zero respect. What then? Am I the biggest sucker in the world? Still giving it 100 and hoping she comes around... I just want a little back...
@Dutchman78
That's the hardest part. Is it really worth it then? The words can be said but if no action is being taken it's render useless. Ask yourself why is there no action behind the words? Is there an underlying reason? Sometimes it's better to take a step back and have a fresh perspective.
No, I disagree. You love this person and you want to give it your 100% through it all. But if the other person is not... is it really worth it? I know you mentioned you have kids.. But is seeing you in the depressive state healthy for them?
@kaykay231
It's probably not the place for this, I just read your words and they hit home.
Your absolutely right though. I bottle everything up (always have. The men in my family never could talk about feelings & were expected to be in control). I'm sure it comes out even when I'm trying to hold stuff in. I don't want to break up our family and when I said I do I meant it... I keep thinking I can do more but I just don't know anymore...
@Dutchman78
Yeah I understand with kids things get tricky... Maybe try setting aside some time for you and your loved one. Maybe do the little things, communicate better, go out for dinners, reevaluate your relationship and what you both want from it. Maybe try going to a neutral space and give the other the opportunity to speak freely without judgement. If you can't seem you say it, write it down and maybe this way you both can reflect on how to move forward in your relationship. Maybe try to reconnect that feeling from when you started the relationship. Set aside time for just you two.
For yourself, why not try to maybe get some physical relief from the tension, and stress, join a gym or go for run, go kickboxing classes whatever you like. Write a journal just so you don't get caught up in your own thoughts and feel the need to bottle it up. Have an activity or hobby that keeps you distracted ( this is from experience and that distraction helps alleviate some of the weight)
Kindness
Love. so they won't force you to do things you don't want to do.
That person cares about me and not just my look.
Utter compassion for all life, to care for themselves and their health, and the ability to SHOW their love, not just say it. I'm so very lucky to have a partner who has these qualities.
Integrity
Someone who understands me and treats me with respect!
Honesty
