Questions to ask…

@Hope

Though I am an outgoing person once I know people, I actually find it difficult to reach out and connect with  new friends.  Suddenly I go from gregarious to becoming reserved and a bit awkward. I am trying to change that. I want to meet new people and make new friends.👍 

@Hope

Speaking from experience, asking questions tells you next to nothing about rather someone is worth befriending or not. We only see two things in others-what they want you to see, and ourselves.

Instead it'd be better to observe how they treat their friends, and family. Are they respectful? Courteous? What do they talk about? Do others trust them? How do they handle problems? Pay attention to how they discuss their parents/and or other friends. Do they have positive things to say, or only negative? Or do they tend to shy away from talking about them? 

You should also get to know their parents. We are products of our environment, and often knowing who raised the person you want to know is a good indicator of what they may be like and how they will treat you.

For example, if one parent is critical, judgmental, and seems to be controlling, chances are your new friend likely may have those traits. 

So are their parents treat each other with respect? Are they loving and supportive? Or do they have trouble communicating? That can be a good indicator of what your now compadre would be like in any relationship romantic or otherwise.

Lastly, this is something I learned the hard way, but you need to take a hard look at yourself and ask are YOU someone worth befriending? 

Two years a go or so I made friends with the sweetest person. They were genuine, honest, funny and truly gave who they were. If nothing else I could trust that they would always tell you how they felt. 

However the friendship didn't last, not entirely because of them, but because of me. I was selfish. Immature. Blind. Deceitful. I brought negativity. I couldn't handle their flaws, and even though I promised I wouldn't be another person to leave them because of their issues well...I did. 

What's worse, there was another amazing person they knew. This second person was mature, super-intelligent and essentially a prodigy. I both respected and feared them, and I would've loved to befriend them, but I was only focused on myself. Instead of treating them as a real person I could only focus on how much better then me they were. I never even bothered to show interest in them. In the end I ended up speaking of them behind their back and ruining any chance I had. This person could've been someone I was destined to befriend. Someone who could've changed my life. But because of my self-absorption I ruined things between them and myself.  

The whole experience was a wake up call. What kind of person are YOU? What flaws do YOU have? What would YOU bring into a relationship with this person? Are YOU a backstabber? Or are you genuine, and truly care about people? 

It also taught me to never befriend someone until you know what their issues are and rather or not you can handle them, and to never make promises that are beyond your ability to keep.

These are all considerations that will do a better job of discerning rather someone is worth befriending, then any questions you could ask them personally. 

I don't know I just say hey 

@Hope I usually do not ask 'certain' questions, but I tend to see how their personality is after spending time together. I try not to judge a person based on their lifestyle choices, but more how they are behaving when around me :)

@kingburger23 

@Hope

Another Great Question from @Hope

I am not a natural outgoing person. So I generally take on a different approach, a disassociate one.

Naturally I feel that I cannot trust people. My first thoughts is they wish to abuse me. Which is a reaction probably from my history.

Before I even get into the “questions” I like to observe from a distance at the body language, interactions, and then the eyes.
They say that you can see into a person’s soul through their eyes. 

@Hope

- Does this person respect my boundaries?

- Is this person kind and respectful towards me?

- Does this person make me feel safe?