Am I making the right choice?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost three years, it both of our longest relationships. The past 2 months has been rough since I started college and his shifts at work have changed. We rarely see each other and he has asked me to move in on multiple occasions. Hes a few years older and has experience a lot more than me. I told him after we are engaged I will move in but at the same time I want to move in and spend more time together. But I dont want him feel like he doesnt has to marry me since he gets all of the benefits already and I dont want him feeling pressured to ask me to marry him. (My dad and his girlfriend of 6 years are not even engaged and I look at her like my own mother) But he has been telling me that I just need to move in with him and I feel guilty because Myself and him are both feeling upset from not seeing each other, but I dont think Im mentally ready to move in with a guy.
I want to make him happy but is this the best choice?
In general, I believe that no one should ever sacrifice their happiness for someone else's, and that includes not feeling "forced" to do something just to please the other. If you do, it could also have repercussions on your relationship, which could start feeling burdening for you if you do something you don't want.
However, I wonder if your need to marry before living together is just due to cultural reasons or if you really think it is wrong, and why. That's something for you to think about, but if ultimately the issue is that you just don't feel ready to move in with him, whatever the reasons, you don't have to do it. Being open with hin about how you feel is the best option, he might be sad about it but I'm sure he can accept it and wait longer, but he loves you and he wouldn't want you to feel forced to do something.
@RayvenFire If you don't feel like you're ready to move in with him, that's perfectly fine. That is how you feel and there is nothing wrong with that.
I think it could also be detrimental because you just started college. I assume it's your first year and so that's a going to be a really big adjustment. And even if it's not your first year, it's still going to take a bit of time to get back into the swing of things.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. And that's okay.
