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Boyfriend: "When I get so angry, I think of murder."

User Profile: strawberrypatch2018
strawberrypatch2018 September 15th, 2020

Obviously, I got so scared I didn't know how to react when he told me about this. I thought it was a joke at first but he was serious about it and he was upset because I didn't say yes when he asked me if I felt the same when I get riled up sometimes. This has led me to the biggest red flag I have ever seen with him and I'm currently reconsidering our relationship. After some time, we have discussed about him getting professional help for his anger issues but he has kept refusing it like the other times I've suggested it in the past. I don't know how to deal with this now. Please help me help him.

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User Profile: hopebeyondpain
hopebeyondpain September 15th, 2020

@strawberrypatch2018

Hi there, this sounds like a scary situation to be in. The first thing is to make sure you're safe. If you're ever worried for your safety, make sure you have exit strategies and take precautions to protect yourself. ❤️

It's very thoughtful of you to try to help him, but it's not your responsibility to take care of him. If you're having difficulty separating his needs from your own, here's a self-help guide that could help:

Boundaries self-help guide: https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/

Take care, stay safe, and keep being awesome! 🥰

2 replies
User Profile: strawberrypatch2018
strawberrypatch2018 OP September 15th, 2020

@hopebeyondpain

Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. I have such a hard time creating boundaries. I don't have this problem with anyone else, it's especially hard to do when it's with him. I just really care too much about him and it's difficult for me to put myself first. I wish I knew how to make it easier.

1 reply
User Profile: hopebeyondpain
hopebeyondpain September 16th, 2020

@strawberrypatch2018

Sometimes it's difficult to let go, but it's okay to take things one step at a time. ❤️ Your needs matter too. It might take some time, so don't feel discouraged if nothing changes right now 💕. You'll get there, I 🐝 🍃 in you 💗

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