How to leave an abusive relationship?

Hello everyone,

We are in the month of Teen Dating Violence Awareness. And, today I would want to discuss - "How To Leave an Abusive Relationship?"

Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy. Because even if you are trying to decide to leave it, you may be feeling confused, frightened, uncertain and unsure, what to do?

One moment you might think to leave and exit from this relationship but another moment you pause and think to hang on to it to see if things get better. And, the abusive relationship continues...

Many wonders why she did not leave the relationship if that is abusive. But you know it, it is not that simple as it seems to say. Ending a relationship is never easy. Because you put a lot of time, energy and efforts in building it. And, it is not easy to leave all and start from scratch. So, you try to see the possibilities of improving the relationship rather than leaving it.

But, sometimes you have to give up and exit. Because at the end of the day, the only thing matters are your Safety.

So, here is a short checklist that may help you in taking decision for good -

✔ If you think, your abuser can change, you might think to give a chance. Because abusers have own challenges. If you think they can seek professional help to get treatment and may get better, you can think to give the chance. But, if not, then you have to make your mind to move on.

✔ If you believe if you can help your abuser to control his actions and become a better person. You can consider giving a chance. But if it affects your health badly and you feel like stuck or lost, probably time to rethink.

✔If you thinking about what will happen, what and how will you do, then do not worry. Do not let the uncertainty keep you in an unhealthy and abusive relationship.

What could you do to keep yourself safe -

✔ Know the red flags - Know and stay alert with the clues and signs when your abusive partner getting upset and may explode. If you sensing those flags, find a way and reasons to leave the spot.

✔ Recognize the safe spots - Know where to move and stay safe if your abusive partner is in attack mode. Avoid any close spaces. Stay alert.

How to leave an abusive relationship-

✔ Make a safety plan - Consider all the things to cover in your safety plan. Like, changing your smartphone settings, get a second cell phone, change usernames and passwords, know whom to contact in an emergency, have emergency codes to alert and so on.

✔ Identify safe places to move - When you leave the abusive relationship, move to the place you can be safe for weeks. Or if you are in the same location, probably change your routine so they do not get a chance to stalk you. Domestic Violence Shelters could be the place you may go to seek refuge from the abuser.

✔ Keep copies of all relevant documents and paper on the safe side.

✔ Build a strong support system.

✔ Take steps to heal and move on. It might not be easier to heal and move on but take your time. Approach the support systems to interact and discuss anything you want. Because you may struggle with upsetting emotions, feel numb or disconnected, find it hard to trust anyone. But counseling, therapy, mental health groups can be your pick who can help you process what you have bee through and learn to build new and healthy relationships.

Where to turn for help for violence or abuse --

✔ In the United States, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

✔ Worldwide, visit the International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of crisis helplines and shelters & centers.