I've never felt the desire to find someone. I don't know why.
Hey everyone. I've never posted to this thread before, so bear with me.
I see a lot of people around me in some form of relationship. And I've never been in one. Not once. I had a couple of botched attempts, but nothing that led to anything.
What bugs me is that I've never felt the desire to "put myself out there", as a lot of people would phrase it. I'm aware that girls don't just walk up to your door, but I've never felt the deep desire to go out and be social and meet strangers. It's not a part of who I am. I'm just a reserved person and I usually keep my head down when I'm around others, be it at school or anywhere else.
I've never had sex before either, or even a kiss. It just feels weird. Like the feeling that I've should have done it already but I haven't.
But it all loops back to that same thing: no desire. I may think about it, but nothing that lights a fire in me.
I sometimes feel doomed to being alone, even though I'm surrounded by those who do care about me.
Has anyone else felt like this? Maybe I'm just talking out of my butt, but it makes me feel out of place in this world.
So, is the problem that you don't want a girlfriend or that you just don't feel compelled to find one? If you're content with being single, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Different people want different things.
@sporkchop
Compelled to find one I guess. I'm 21, so I guess I'm at an age where I should be "finding someone". At least that's what I felt. I never brought a girl home while I was in highschool. There was one girl that I had a slight crush on in my class, but it wasn't enough to propel me and say " want to go on a date" or prom or something like that.
@Nick8876 You're still young, I don't think there's any reason to rush it. Some people date just to date and some of us wait until we find the right person. Maybe you just haven't found someone who makes you want to go out of your way yet. I was friends with my first serious boyfriend for two years before we started dating. (I was 19.) I met my next two boyfriends on a dating/friendship site, not necessarily looking for a relationship, just someone to talk to. I've never really actively searched for a romantic relationship. I think it's okay to just go about your life and let things like that happen when the time is right.
I had a friend who was just like that. She considered herself "Asexual" not attracted to male or female and didnt have any desire for a relationship. In all reality she was attracted to males just not the idea of the relationship itself. I think shes like 20 now and still hasnt had a relationship. Youre not alone. You were created to be unique! We're all our own seperate snowflakes... no two created alike! Dont let anyone tell you otherwise! @Nick8876
@rationalPerson8345
I'm not exactly sure about not being sexually attracted to anyone. It's more or less just the romantic part. I figured out when I was about 13-14 that I was attracted to women. At least sexually, I feel that way.
I've masturbated a lot, as I found how to do it on accident when I was really young. I've stumbled across some kinks and fetish stuff, but I've never actually had a sexual encounter with anyone.
I dunno what it is. I'm certain I'm not gay (no disrespect meant to anyone who is), but maybe it stems from me constantly being alone, with my family as my only company. Maybe part of me has just subconsciously given up on finding someone.
@Nick8876
Hiya!
I dont think there is anything wrong with having no desire at this moment! We are all different and want different things out of life, whether this is a relationship, studies, career or travelling etc....... the important thing is that you are happy, you care for people, and people care for you. Life has a tendency to happen, bring up situations for us to experience and question, try not to rush yourself, be who you are, enjoy life, and what it throws at you. Good things happen when we are least expecting it!
Have a wonderful day
@Nick8876
I'm sure if you did a bit of research on Asexuality, you might find that you can easily check a lot of the boxes. This does not mean there is something wrong with you. There is no reason why you should feel the need to fulfill what society feels that you should do because it's "expected". If you are perfectly happy and content living the way you are - then continue doing so. It doesn't make you a bad person, less of anything, and it certainly does not mean something is wrong simply because you are doing your own thing and living your life the way you choose. I think too often people make choices/decisions based on what they think someone else wants or what society expects at the cost of being completely miserable.
If you choose to be in a relationship or have sex at a later time, then you do. If not, it sounds like you have a lot of people around you that really genuinely care about you. I might recommend focusing on building those friendships because as you get older - those people will make a huge difference in your life overall. It's important to select quality people around you and to quickly quell those that attempt to discredit or make you feel bad about your true happiness. Just because someone has an opinion and might become "offended" does not mean they are right and it does not mean that you must now adjust your life to THEIR expectations.
Good Luck!
@Nick8876
Yes, I have felt like this for a really long while. I have never really been in a relationship or been in love with anyonw. Know that there's nothing wrong about this. Maybe you just haven't found the right one yet, and that's okay. It's okay to keep doing your own thing. Not everyone goes in search for a partner. I'm sure many people have met their partners when they weren't looking for one.
And if you don't want a relationship, that's okay too. If you are happy doing what you are doing, then go on living the way you like. :)
@Nick8876 i will only tell my thoughts here, there is no need to be in relationship, any sort of it, neither searching for one, or wrong with having no desire to do so, and as long as you're comfortable, i don't see why not stay single?, if you felt someday that you want so, you are free to do so, that's all :) , feel free to message me if you wish, i will respond instantly if am there, if not ASAP, good luck 
@Nick8876
It must be hard to feel "out of place" in the world. I think that tells me you do want a connection. What do you think? Have you always felt a lack of desire for an intimate relationship?
@ali1112
I'm not sure. As vague as it sounds. I think back to when I was growing up, and I never really paid much attention to it. The first times I tried to meet a girl were in middle school, and honestly that felt half assed. I would throw myself out trying to find a girlfriend because everyone else was doing it.
I never really tried in high school. I had some problems I had to work on, and as a result, I never tried to date. There was one girl I did like, but it wasn't strong enough to push me to ask her on a date.
Fast forward to college, and well, I just don't feel it. I have a close female friend from work, but that's it. I feel like it stems from me being alone for so long, that I've just gotten used to it.
@Nick8876, Hi Nick.. i too can relate alittle. However that's sort of normal to feel like that sometimes and there are many factors that can contribute to such feelings. For me, one factor was work and being too busy for a relationship. :)
