Not sure
Firstly about me. I've been in a relationship from 15 - 22. So when I became single I didn't want anything with anyone because I needed to sort my issues out like how to trust someone and not be paranoid and over Thinking everything. I never got close to anyone in them 3 years. Until 3 months ago. I've never felt like I have before in my life. All my issues just disappeared. We weren't meant to get close because she was only out of a 8 year relationship and I knew she will need a lot of time. But the two of us have got really close (I've fell 😕) she has got really close but still worried. I've been like this or would everything think like this.
But she thinks it could be a year before she is ready or even 3. My question is what do I do? I never thought I'd wait for someone in this way. But I'd wait 5 years if I had too
@nevergiveupneverbackdown hey it's good to know that u finally found someone that u like, although I know it's going to take some time to be in relationship. However, in terms of waiting, I think u know what to do, as u mentioned it yourself that u r willing to wait for her :). I know u said that u never thought you'd wait someone in this way, but that's life. Life is full of surprises! Good luck to you! Cheers!
@SmilingCamel55
I've thought I'd been in love before. But I think I've only ever loved but not in love. I never knew I could feel like this over someone. Also she came in on a really bad time of my life and still stuck through it. It's the first time I've never hidden myself or my bad past and she's still here 😊 I could never trust again from the past. It's the first person I have in 8 years. I know being with her at the moment was always a risk of me getting close and possibly getting hurt. She wouldn't hurt me but it's still all fresh for her and I'm hoping it's not a rebound. She has changed my life so much and during that rough time she kept me here.
Maybe i should add that we are together but not in a relationship. We have rules basically we can kiss other people on nights out but nothing else. I support that as hard as it is. But I think it would help with her as just being single after so long. Wish I just met later 😕
@nevergiveupneverbackdown
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
Firstly about me. I've been in a relationship from 15 - 22. So when I became single I didn't want anything with anyone because I needed to sort my issues out like how to trust someone and not be paranoid and over Thinking everything. (I believe you took the right approach here. I can tell you might have some sort of trust issues that has to do with your past. Does the overthinking has to do with looking for possible reason a person is leaving you and anxiety?) I never got close to anyone in them 3 years. (You were afraid of being hurt or experiencing bad experiences with other people?). Until 3 months ago. I've never felt like I have before in my life. All my issues just disappeared. (This part here does tell me your happiness and well being started to revolve here, and projecting certain unmet needs on her). We weren't meant to get close because she was only out of a 8 year relationship and I knew she will need a lot of time. (Emotional healing takes time, the emotions of someone post breakup will go up and down at a rapid rate. They will be times where she will want you, and then few hours to day she will pull away entirely. This is a tricky situation because the ex might still be in the background, and perhaps they might have feelings for each other since there's a lot history between them). But the two of us have got really close (I've fell 😕) she has got really close but still worried. (There's a chance you two got too close, too quick because of the things you two went through). I've been like this or would everything think like this.
But she thinks it could be a year before she is ready or even 3. (This statement is sort of strange, you have not asked her to be on a relationship with you or shared your feelings with her right?, if your answer is yes then it explains why she would be talking about how long it will take, if the answer is no then it means she was very sincere about the statement).My question is what do I do? I never thought I'd wait for someone in this way. But I'd wait 5 years if I had too. (You got think objectively about this, 1-5 years is way too long to wait for someone who recently gotten out of a breakup. It's not a good idea to put your life on hold for someone we don't know when they will heal from the breakup, and a lot of things could have from now to five years.)
@nevergiveupneverbackdown Amazing that you feel the way you do, so genuine about your love. If you feel its worth the time , it is only fair to you that you give yourself the chance. If you feel no its too long and thats gonna frustrate you, then thats another thing. Think with your brain and heart both and take a call in discussion with your dear one.