Severe anxiety and him wanting guys night
How the heck do y'all handle that without going crazy or chasing him off. My anxiety targets my relationship issues.
@Sin79 Hi! Thanks for reaching out! This is a tough situation, especially when you recognize that your anxiety symptoms are triggered by relationships (which I think is actually fairly common, so you're not alone). I know it must feel like it would be great to just have a way to turn the worry off! I think it' important, too for you to understand where that anxiety may originally be coming from for you. Is it coming from your relationship history? Your history with this individual? Something deeper? It's worth a look. You know yourself the best :)
@PatronusCounseling it comes from all my past relationships. He is the first decent man I have been with. But i just can't stop the anxiety I tell myself he's nothing like them and he not. But still the anxiety is there. He's been so patient with me and it... but yet here it is.
@Sin79 You have highlighted some awesome things about him! Despite all of those things though, anxiety is not rational, it's emotional and that's what makes it so difficult. You clearly want to be able to rationally see him, beyond whatever emotionn your history stirs up. Sometimes coping with that history can be the best place to start.
@Sin79
Trust. Is literally the key.
Anxiety is born from fear and in this case the fear comes from low self esteem. I don't know what might lead to this, and if it was something bad I'm so sorry. But you have to work on it.
Realise he isn't going to cheat or do weird stuff just because. He made a commitment, he is with you for a reason. He loves you and only you. Now trusting him is up to you but I will say a relationship without trust is pointless. If you want to make it work realise you aren't his mother to control him, you are a responsible person in a relationship, you made a commitment of respect and you need to fight your anxiety and self esteem to aknowledge healthy boundaries.
One tip that might help is ask him to text you when he's confortable to. let's say he's hanging out till pretty late, ask him "can you just text me to say everything's ok? Just so I can be a bit more relieved since I care." But only do this if you really realise you are freaking out to the point that is unhealthy.
Overal I recommend keeping yourself busy. If he goes out spend your time in the best way possible, maybe some alone time or go out with someone, make sure you aren't alone in silence so your mind won't run into weird scenarios.
Best of luck.
