Taking things personal
I need advice. I feel my partner can be critical, he is picky about things. I know he loves me but he nitpicks over what I think are insignificant things (how did the microwave get dirty? Don’t get fingerprints on the shower door.)
We end up in fights about this. My feelings get hurt then he says I only focus on negative not all the good he does. He does do a lot of good things!
How do I learn to stop taking these things personally?
@Kellymaureenandrew
Honestly, hard not to take them so personally when they are so insignificant.
How does the microwave get dirty, eh, because we cook in it.
How does prints get on the shower , because I put my hands on it.
I don't see the point in nitpicking.
It's annoying to be fair.
You are human.
It doesn't mean you don't see the good he does.
It doesn't make you unappreciative.
You just wish he'd invest his energies into something more meaningful 🩷
@Kellymaureenandrew
perhaps it is how he is communicating things to you. does it feel like a lecture or correcting you like he is the parent in the situation? when you both use the microwave and shower can you make a plan to clean after use and if you clean something he left or him cleaning after you does it really matter. Is he keeping score? Hard NOT to take personally if it seems like a scorecard thing.
My partner would make comments, and it was the way it was done not the insignificant thing. learning to talk openly about it and being upfront.
