The Peril of Running a Destructive or Defective Mental Script or Program

What are scripts or programs (mental) and how do they influence our daily lives? (Since scripts and programs are the same thing, I will continue to refer to scripts throughout the posting but mean literally both terms)

No different from a movie, there are scripts that are rehearsed and spoken line for line and usually without any improvising. No matter how weve managed to slip into them, either passed down or adopted based on life experience, scripts can be constructed in a way that actually limit our overall potential and ability to maintain healthy and productive lives. Much like a self-fulfilling prophesy, we slip into these scripts and run them much as a computer runs an application.

Here are some example scripts:

The locating a person for a relationship that has severe issues script.

The constantly placing yourself into bad relationships, one after the other script

The locating a person for a relationship that is abusive (mental, verbal, emotional, or physical) script.

The talk yourself out of something potentially great and a set a new challenge for your life script.

The procrastination for anything script.

The victim script.

…and these are just a small handful of some of the more common scripts a therapist or even Listener might see within their patients or members (respectively). In some cases, the scripts are so strong and stubborn, that attempting to talk to them about the issue seems almost fruitless and unproductive. This is sometimes the case when the script itself has a special routine built-in that prevents outside assistance. Its very makeup consists of ensuring that the person feels miserable, punishing himself or herself, and thwarts any outside intervention because the script running insists that they cannot be helped. Its faulty thinking, of course, but it presents a very strong challenge to anyone in the therapy realm when you attempt to work with them and understand their situation. Ironically, the script doesnt prevent them from venting to someone else but, real action and preventative therapy sessions tend to be very unproductive.

Much like a computer has a program running, so does the brain. The person runs this routine and continues to make choices or decisions that influence their lives negatively. They may even wonder why they do it and do not realize that it is the manner in which they have been programmed that is causing the main issues. Therapists and the like attempt to treat only the symptoms of the program and fail to go after the main programming itself. In many cases, this is why the process breaks down and the person goes away frustrated without any sense of why they cant be helped. In some cases, the fact that therapy failed only adds onto the existing program block and they continue forward with newly published mental code that tells them that no one can possibly help them, which is a mirage or fantasy.

So where do these scripts and programs come from? Im glad you asked.

Much like movie scripts and computer programs are developed by a human being, so are mental scripts. Thats right. *WE* make them up for ourselves. They are not inherited from our parents or passed down through the generations of a family. No, they are LEARNED BEHAVIOR. Simple, weve picked up, learned, or experienced something or a few things within our lives either from when we were young, teenager, or even an adult how to react and/or act in particular situations or were running a life script that weve developed over a period of time with adjustments to the code/script over time. You might consider that over time weve perfected it since some people are natural perfectionists. That would be true to a certain extent. However, the perfection is really more for building that wall around yourself even higher and tighter in format.

In example, the script that has been created could have been developed, by you, in order to prevent certain types of pain. (relationship, family, physical, mental, etc.) based on a horrible experience. Or it could be tied to your view of self-worth/self-value. It runs any time you perceive that you are falling outside the boundaries that youve established within that script. While that wall continues to build, the hardship that you face is the very fact that the wall that is meant to keep the bad things out – unfortunately, keeps the good things out too. Its impermeable. Over time, it can lead to depression and other mental health issues not to mention a host of very bad life choices and decisions.

So what can we do about it?

Youve read the script for the movie and as the director, you hate it. You dont like the dialog, cast is not the right cast, and music or tempo is completely out of perspective. What would a director of a movie decide to do? Re-write the script.

First step for you would be to identify which scripts you currently have running and how they impact your life.

Second step is to decide that you want to change those habits, routines, scripts, or programs.

Third step is to find a reliable support system to help coach you through the process.

Fourth step is to understand that breaking a script/program pattern is not simple or easy. Have an action plan for what you will do when you start to slip back into your old routine or script.

Fifth step is to really take action and start the process of re-writing your script(s). It is possible that you run more than one. Ultimately, you are in full control and no one can re-write those for you. It must come from within – but you can get help with breaking out of those patterns.

Last note: Change is hard for everyone. Many people suffer from bad scripts, you are not alone. There is a rule for change. Here is the secret formula: The amount of pain that you experience today has to be GREATER than your PERCEIVED amount of change that you will need to undertake in order to facilitate a true change. It is possible to re-write your scripts – but you have to wholeheartedly WANT the change and to make a statement or rather a promise to yourself that you are going to take action and stop the disease of telling yourself that you will one day. Without action, the script will continue to run and the results will be exactly as the script has been programmed to do.

*This is merely a summary action and awareness posting about how people tend to run programs or scripts to their own detriment. It is not to be considered therapy, action plan, nor advice. For those people who suffer from this condition, your best bet is to connect with a licensed therapist or psychologist to provide you an appropriate evaluation of your situation, assess your scripting behavior, and work with you to determine a reasonable action plan to overcome and re-program areas that you continue to repeat in your life.