The Perils of Trying to Be the Perfect Partner

"Have you ever felt you are trying too hard to please a partner? Worrying about your looks, your behavior, your emotions, your words, and everything else? Not only is such critical self-evaluation exhausting, research reveals it may also be detrimental to your current relationship, or your chances of landing a new one.

The Perils of Perfectionism

You have heard it before—we are our own worst critics. We are disappointed in our looks, our performance on the job, or as a parent. We shake our heads thinking about how we could have handled situations differently. But for all of our self-reproach and criticism, does it really reflect the way our romantic partner views us? In most cases, the answer is no, which should be the end of our concern. Yet when we behave as if the answer is yes, we risk jeopardizing the happiness of our current relationship and diminishing the chances of finding a new one—leaving us alone with our critical thoughts.

Accepting Imperfection

No one is perfect. Accepting this reality can shift your attention and effort into enhancing the lives of others instead of worrying about your own faults—many of which your partner likely does not notice anyway.

Although professional help is available, you can also use trusted friends and family as sounding boards to ensure your self-critical concerns are grounded in reality. Chances are, many of them are not. Slowly but surely, you can work toward changing your goal from being perfect to being perfectly content—which will benefit both you and your significant other."

Read the full article on Psychology Today

✨Takeaway: Perfectionism is defined as the tendency to set excessively high standards for performance combined with overly critical self-evaluations. People with a tendency for perfectionism may be more likely to end romantic relationships when they feel perfectionistic pressure from their partners. Accepting imperfection can shift your attention and effort to a healthier mindset.

✨Reflection: Have you ever felt that perfectionism has affected your relationships?

#Relationships #Self-Improvement #Perfectionism #Self-Acceptance

If you liked this article, you may also like: "Common Ways We Excuse Toxic Behavior"