Trying to quit old habits.
Hello, I’m Myst. Today, I realized that I’m a very toxic person in my relationship. I manipulate in almost every form and it’s gotten to the point the relationship is at thin stake. I want to work to be better but I don’t know how to put the work I get done into action. Any tips for how to put work into action?
Hello @Eepyfoxo.
We're proud of you for admitting you are abusive..
Being direct and honest instead of trying to manipulate a situation to get the most out of it will improve your life and cause less friction.
Now that you are self aware that you need improvement can help you get back to living a more appropriate and meaningful lifestyle..
Talking to listeners and therapists can give you ideas how to improve further..
Thank you for stepping into the light🌟
@Eepyfoxo
You've already started by being so accountable and honest.
It's important to talk openly with your partner and start putting into action what a healthy relationship looks like!
Wishing you all the best 💙
@Eepyfoxo It's great to know you want to become a better person. How about starting to be a volunteer here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HsHangout_1970/7CupsMemberRolesMasterlist_318359/ , I think it can be used for your age group too. This is a tip, not advice.
It's great to hear you've identified this issue. I encourage you to try to build up to having present-moment self awareness. It's good to realize we've done something after the fact, but the only way to make practical changes is to realize we're engaging in the unwanted action in the moment itself.
Not "I was toxic." But rather "I'm wanting to do this toxic thing" or "I'm being toxic." Once you build up to that, it opens the door of choice. If you realize you're wanting to do something toxic or that you're actively doing something toxic, then you can choose to act in a different way.
Calling out the behavior can be good. For example, I was trying to be better at not being so reactive towards my partner. When I caught myself doing it, I would say out loud, "I'm being rude." This would help me to pivot.
I encourage you to reflect every day on the toxic things you've said/done so you can become better at catching them in the moment. Find the patterns of what it is that triggers you to act that way so you can learn to predict them and choose a different reaction for yourself.
Good luck!!
