What do I do wrong?
I'ma 17 year old female called Erin. I'm pretty sociable and I find it while easy to make friends and interact with people. Ihad a boyfriend for 9 months when I was like 13, I know so young like, but here in Ireland, we go out and party and all and get a wee curt (kiss) on a night out. To be honest I've had loads. But I wana get a boyfriend now who really appreciates me. I still talk away with my ex, he's actually one of my good friends. However, there's many people who have lead me on, started talking to me first, and I'm the kind of person who texts back straight when I see I havea text from a crush, I don't take ages just so it looks like I'm not desperate, like what's the point? Well there's this one guy, Gavin, like I actually really like him. He started writing to me before summer (I knew him before this, never properly chatted to him tho) and he played football with my older brother in school. He's 18 and my brothers 19, so now my brother isn't at the same school as him. Anyways, when Gavin first starting writing to me, he was soo nice, and really chatty and he'd ask me so many questions, but one day my brother told me to stop writing to him, that he heard we were chatting. Of course, me being me, I told him I'd chat to anyone I want to chat to. The next day, Gavin stopped writing to me. I confronted my brother about it, asking him had he told him to stop writing to me, but he denied it. It was so random and it just annoys me that I got no explanation from it. Since he stopped writing to me, I've popped up to him trying to start a conversation, but he replies so dryly and then reads and stops writing back after a few texts. Again, me being me, I got drunk at halloween (dressed as a carrot lmao) and Gavin was there,drunk aswell. I seen him and started chatting to him, but either he was too drunkto talk or he was being while distant. Anywho, wekissed. It just happened like and I mean it was amazing. We still didn't start chatting again. Then I was asked to his school formal (his own formal by a boy in his year), and me being me again, I got drunk. I don't remember much of it but I was with him. I didn't realize I had kissed him again at it, but my friend told me I had. But we still haven't talked since, and it's just so frustrating, because why would he start chatting to me and kissed me if he wasn't interested? Am I being to desperate or what? lol
Not at all boys are confusing sometimes aren't they? Honestly love I think you should stop talking to gavin I know how hard it will be but like you said you want a respectful boy and if he doesn't even talk to you then he's not your guy. If he wants to kiss you and possibly hookup with you then he should be willing to chat with you because if not he's hurt kind of using you. I think you should text him and make it clear that it isn't okay maybe like "hey so I'm just really confused and I want you to know that I'm not gonnaput up with this anymore" because if you don't he will just keep expecting you to kiss him even though y'all aren't talking cause why would you buy the Cow if you could get the milk for free. Best wishes xoxo
Thanks for the reply! I know I've been telling myself to do that and honestly I thought I was over him. I know it's weird but I think my brother may have said something to him. Like Gavin used to tell me that he loved my brother (in a best friends kind of way) so I'm kind of inbetweenhim using me and him maybe just trying to respect my brother?
Thanks for the reply! I know I've been telling myself to do that and honestly I thought I was over him. I know it's weird but I think my brother may have said something to him. Like Gavin used to tell me that he loved my brother (in a best friends kind of way) so I'm kind of inbetweenhim using me and him maybe just trying to respect my brother?
You are not desperate, don't worry. Dating and everything even closely related can be confusing sometimes.
I don't like the "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" way of thinking. Personally I think, if you feel fine with occasionally kissing and/or hooking up with someone, that is no one's business but yours. And honestly: it can be fun ;) Nevertheless you need to be aware that a lot of people judge women if they behave like some men do and this is where sayings like the above come from... And with that comes the fact that most boys don't appreciate girls who like to fool around with too many boys. I am sorry to say so, I don't like it but this is the way our society is... Do what makes you happy, but be aware of your surroundings.
But back to topic. Unfortunately you don't seem to be fine with occasionally kissing and I think this is due to different expectations. It seems to me that you want an honest and caring relationship with a boy who respects and appreciates you but this is not what Gavin seems to want . This does not mean that one of you is right and the other is wrong, but that you most likely don't want the same thing. In my opinion, if Gavin were interested in a relationship, he would not have stopped texting you, at least not without an explanation. We can only speculate about his reasons, maybe your brother is involved, maybe it has nothing to do with him at all.
From what I know of men (sounds like an unknown species...) it does not matter what you do, you can not make him want a relationship. You can try to play the "you don't get me"-game, but don't expect it to make a difference. You can continue to get drunk at parties and end up kissing him, but don't expect him to change his mind. He hasn't done so in the past, so there is little chance he is going to do so in the future. You can try to confront him and ask him what all this is about, and maybe you get an honest answer. Or you can decide that there are better uses for your time and effort. Whatever you do, do it because it makes you feel good and not because an unpredictable reaction of someone else might make you feel good.
And on a side note: I know how it is to party, but be careful with alcohol. It is fun up unto the point where you end up doing embarrassing or dangerous things that you can't remember in the morning. Gosh, I sound like my own mother (it is frightening to be honest) but just take care and know your limits.
Well I mean don't get me wrong I give a lot of people the milk and they don't buy the Cow like I'm the so called slut of the school but I mean it is trye that some guys won't date u if they can get stuff from you without having to put a title on it
Well I mean don't get me wrong I give a lot of people the milk and they don't buy the Cow like I'm the so called slut of the school but I mean it is trye that some guys won't date u if they can get stuff from you without having to put a title on it
Ok, somehow the settings got messed up, the bold part should not be bold but small. Sorry for that!