giving up seems to be the only option
Feeling completely hopless at this point 23 and ive never kissed a girl never been on a date. Im incredibly shy and when I try to not be shy I say something stupid I want to change but I dont know where to begin to try and change aver time I try to change I sabotage myself in some way and at this point all this failing before I can even try is depressing me the only thing I can come up with is to just give up forget it. if I dont try. I cant fail. I want help but every one seems to gives up on me sorry for the bad grammar
Hello! I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. You said that you've never been on a date and you've never kissed a girl. Can you explain to me why this makes you feel like you're completely hopeless? Also, can you think of any other good qualities about yourself that don't involvewhether you've been romantically involved with a girl? Because I've noticed that a lot of people who feel completely hopeless about this type of thing tend toput all their self-worth into a relationship and think that they're not worth anything unless they're in a relationship with someone or have kissedsomeone, etc.
Also, sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but do you think there's anything that you can do to improve the situation that you're in? Would you consider sitting down and brainstorming about what might help you? Even if it's just something like therapy to help with your shyness. Anything that you feelwould improve the situation that you're in.
The only thing that is "good"about me is im very intelligent but its only book smart. thats exactly why I feel hopeless cause socially im a moron. even all the idiots I see can figure it out and ive tried figuring out how to fix it and I dont know what to do. I would go to a therapist for my shyness but im to broke and all the questions are fine im thankful someones trying to help
The only thing that is "good"about me is im very intelligent but its only book smart. thats exactly why I feel hopeless cause socially im a moron. even all the idiots I see can figure it out and ive tried figuring out how to fix it and I dont know what to do. I would go to a therapist for my shyness but im to broke and all the questions are fine im thankful someones trying to help
its better to be single and happy than broken and lost
Hi there,
Nobody is perfect, everybody has flaws but the important thing is to use what your great at to your advantage and let that shine through. For sure you can try to be a little more confident which means coming out of your shell a little. However, gaining confidence takes time so if you fail the first time try to pick yourself back up because you can only improve or do better then the last time. When and if you do fail at an attempt to start a relationship don't feel hopeless instead learn from it and try to do better next time. You have to start having hope in yourself ! and im sure you will in time because time is a great healer but you can only do that by having faith in yourself...Also, you say your not socially active as a result take things slow - even before being friends small interaction whether its a smile or an occasional hello is sometimes the first steps to building a friendship. Hope this helps and wish you all the best.
Hey Buddy, try this,just go out and have fun.I think you are trying to hard .go out there just breathe and let things happen naturally. listen, I'm married so I can't go out and flirt with any women ,you got one on me.lastly someone once told me "less is more"cheesy but true ,
I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but I didn't get into my first relationship until I was 23. I often felt insecure for being a late-bloomer and for not having any experience with relationships, but I also thought it was preferable over being a total slut who slept with loads of people. I know how it feels weird sometimes to have never experienced a lot of the things that other people your age have, but it really doesn't make you any less of a person.
Honestly, based on the things you've said, I think the biggest thing that you are lacking is confidence. That's definitely a problem if you are trying to attract members of the opposite sex. Girls are especially turned off by guys who display a lack of confidence. I'm not saying this to be critical or to make you feel discouraged. Something tells me that you were already aware of this issue. Of course, deep down, you know that there is more than one thing that you like about yourself. You are not just very intelligent. There are other great qualities about you, and if you can't name them right now, I encourage you to spend some time discovering what you like about yourself.
I understand this shyness that you mentioned. I used to be painfully shy at times, and it required a bit of effort to overcome. I don't think you need to change and turn into a social butterfly, but it would be helpful for you to become more comfortable in your own skin. Women will find it so much more attractive when you show that you are content with you are and what you say. Try to remember that you came into this world as a perfect human being. You already possess everything you need to be happy, but we often forget that because society and certain people around us try to make us think we aren't good enough as we already are. Try to love yourself first, and then I bet the rest will fall into place a lot easier.
Ive been trying to overcome my shyness and for the most part I have gotten better but when it comes to chicks im in to I still cant do it . I want to be a social butterfly and honestly id rather just be a "slut" its just not really a reachable goal at this point and thanks for the tip ill try to find more stuff I actually like about myself and it is encouraging to here some one who had a similar problem
Hi
I also struggle with the social part and Im also very intelligent at least in the IQ aspect. I also never kissed a girl, have almost never slept with a girl as well. You should know I very much recognize the problems you describe, I have many of the same.
And being very intelligent is in itself a very good thing, its a great gift. It makes you different. Even though you may struggle you should be proud of your intelligence.
You know that stereotype called a "nerd" (which can simply mean your very bright which is a good thing) And being shy or akward may can be a problem for YOU. But always comfort yourself that being shy is very innocent. Shyness dont hurt anybody, even though youre anxious because of it.
I also know of an highly effective medicine against social anxiety, you can send me a message and ask me about it. Its not a pill, far far better.
Ive been trying to overcome my shyness and for the most part I have gotten better but when it comes to chicks im in to I still cant do it . I want to be a social butterfly and honestly id rather just be a "slut" its just not really a reachable goal at this point and thanks for the tip ill try to find more stuff I actually like about myself and it is encouraging to here some one who had a similar problem
A situation like yours can definitely be emotionally draining, but I just want you to know that you don't need to change how you are! You just need to change the people you're around. Join different clubs, get involved with anything you're interested in, and you're bound to click with someone.
And 23, you're still super young, and have a long life to live yet. Perhaps it's just not the time for you yet, and that's absolutely okay! Not everyone is wired the same way.
Spend some extra time, and try to fall in love with yourself. I absolutely promise it will get you somewhere. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever need to talk, please shoot me a message!