long distance

recently my boyfriend and i moved to long distance because of college. i have a long history of abandonment and so this big move of being apart has really messed me up. i cant eat or sleep and i cry all day. i am constantly worried about what he’s doing and who he’s with and if he’s safe and i’m starting to become controlling and i’ve never been that way. i think about him finding someone cooler than me, prettier than me, someone who shares his interests, someone who treats him better. i think about him forgetting me because of how exciting his college life is. i try to discuss with him regularly how i’m feeling but his attention always seems elsewhere now that he is living on campus and always with friends. i commute to my school and otherwise take online classes so i have nothing to do 75% of the time, which ends up with me waiting for a text or a call that doesn’t ever seem to happen. he is happy and glowing while i feel like im crumbling. he says my worries are going to end up pushing him away and my biggest fear is for me to screw this beautiful thing up that i have with him. what do i do? how do i help myself?