Am I being too selfish?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We’ve gone through quite a bit together; one of us moving out of state, insecurities, and quite a few more bumps here and there. I have begun to feel like I am not being caring or understanding enough to his side of the story. The largest bump in our relationship happened at the beginning of this year and it completely changed things for me. I’ve been the only one that has openly said that what happened made things different. We lived together for a while but due to our family issues we don’t anymore and it is taking a huge time on us and our relationship. We live about an hour away from each other which isn’t too far but I drive an old beater so I can’t continue to make the trips out there. I want to see him and be with him but there are a lot of things keeping me from being able to go see him. When I tell him he tells me I’m not making enough of an effort and because of that he tells me I must not love or miss him as much as he does me. However, whenever I ask him to come see me it’s like pulling teeth, his main argument is that if he comes and sees me he can’t spend the night with me. I see what he means, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to always be the one having to budge when I have my reasons for not wanting to be at his house either especially when his family is always over. This could be me being selfish and I’m trying to fix it because I know I have been different and difficult. I’ve tried talking to my family but I’m afraid they’re too biased. I’ve also tried talking to his sister but I wasn’t sure if she’d want to hear all of it and I don’t want anything to affect how she sees her brother. I’ve tried asking him if we could talk to someone together that isn’t biased to either of us and he agreed but that was months ago. I’ve suggested the app but he said he’d rather wait until he can pay for a professional. I’m getting very stressed with having to juggle everything right now and am so close to giving up on everything. I want this to work because I love him so much but I know at this point we’re both just talking and no one is listening. Any help is greatly appreciated and if you think you could convince him to open up on here I’d be forever greatful!