Anxiety won't leave me.

A teen female here, in my second relationship since my first was really toxic.

A little context: my ex used to watch adult videos and I wasn't comfortable with it, so i talked with him about setting a boundary with which he agreed if i remember correctly. He was toxic overall but that's not the point. He then proceeded to watch them anyways then tell me he did it and burst in tears, knowing i wouldn't get mad because he's crying. It happened many more times until i stopped caring and developed trust issues.

I got into a new healthy relationship and i'm happiest i've ever been, but i still asked him if he watches these sort of things. He said yes and i wasn't surprised because i know it's normal, i just have boundaries, that's all. I told him, he agreed easily and said he doesn't want to talk about it again.

So easily i didn't really believe him and i've been struggling for a whole month. Every day all i can think about is how it's possible that he lied and still does watch them. Never wanted to be controlling or upset him, so i just held everything and haven't said a word about this for almost a month.

Today my anxiety really wouldn't leave me alone so i asked him for reassurance. He got upset, told me to stop and that he can't listen to this anymore, and that i made him feel worse. Also i was told he wouldn't be on call with me today and ended the conversation. I could feel the anger through his texts, he hasn't been like this before.

Obviously my brain made fake scenarios and i started thinking he lied and doesn't want to talk about it because of that. I kinda felt unloved and broke down in tears, shaking for good 20mins.

I'm not used to him being angry at me so it was quite upsetting. I figured my trust issues might come from my past relationship experience, but it doesn't make my pain go away. I didn't want to bother my best friend with my problems, so while crying i downloaded this app. I really want my anxiety ant trust issues to disappear and my relationship to be healthy. I just don't know how to start trusting him and convince myself that he loves me.