Are we doomed? In love but unsatisfied

I'm not sure what category to put this under because I'm new to this. Thank you so much for clicking on my thread. I would appreciate ANY and all views on this topic - even if they're brutally honest.

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we currently live together under his parent's roof with his siblings. We are in our late 20's.

I love this man, he is so fun, creative, imaginative, informed, talented, and the life of the party. He makes me laugh and we have a million great days. I see him being an amazing big brother, and a thoughtful son. But I'm not sure we're compatible anymore. 

When we first met, we both weighed less. We both didn't want kids. We both didn't care about marriage. Year later, understandably, he and I have changed. He is now very overweight, while I am now healthy-range-chubby. He grew his hair really long which isn't attractive to me (he loves it). He knows he wants kids 100%, but I don't know how I feel about having them yet. Sometimes we talk about what we would do as parents in a certain situation, but I don't coo at babies or think about how much I'd want them. It just isn't in my mind at this point. 

We've talked about getting married, and while I think it sounds nice, it just isn't that important to me. BF said he views marriage as a safety net for having kids (as in, they benefit from a two parent household with secure finances bla bla). So, if I don't want kids, we wouldn't get married. 

So here's my problem. I'm still in love with him. I love who he is. I love being a part of his family. I love the friends we've made together. But now it feels like our needs have shifted. And I'm scared of every single possibility. 

I'm scared that I stay with him, have kids I wasn't 100% sure about, and then resent all of them years later, sacrificing my career and lots of money. 

On the flip side, I'm terrified that we break up, I lose my best friend and long term partner, he moves on, I change my mind about kids and he's already long gone. 

I'm terrified of that regret. I'm terrified of staying when there could be a better match for BOTH of us out there.

Other issues affecting our relationship are sex and finances. For sex, he has a high sex drive and I do not. It's really hard for me to tell if my lack of sex drive is due to his appearance, our stress, or if it's just not who I am. I've never been a highly sexual person and was overall a late bloomer in that regard. I like sex when it's happening, but I do not crave it more than once a month. I've looked into many reasons why - hormones, adhd, depression, etc. which are all possible. But I don't feel the need to change myself at this time. It feels like such a silly topic to be wanting more sex when our lives are so busy. I would rather have a good meal most days. 

I feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm broken. He in turn, feels ugly and unwanted because I don't initiate and often turn down advances because I can't get in the mood. I hate doing this to him, and I hate feeling wrong. 

I think it's important to note that he and I have always loved how we feel, how we kiss, etc. His skin is like warm lightning, and I love his thick lips. He's well endowed and I find that exciting, but not enough to want sex. 

To the finance part - I've been paying more than my share for years for any purchases. I told him at some point "sometimes it will be like this, right now I've got you, and soon you'll be able to take care of me if I need it". I meant that, but I feel I give him so much time, so much understanding, but I feel stressed from the now expectation that I will be the one working harder. I'm about to start a new job that will double my current income, and he has a part time gig at the moment. He's getting a small raise next month but it isn't enough to pay half of the bills and save money for his future. He doesn't have a car (his family used it to death), so he works near home. His family drives him sometimes, which is kind. He has plans in place to go back to school or get certain certifications which is a great sign. But that's another expense that I feel I'd be helping with. The family also relies on my car often and they owe me money. It's not his fault he was raised this way, but I'm scared it'll be a leech on my back forever to be associated with his family. 

He's making steps to get a better job, he might buy a cheap used car from a friend, he wants to do more with his music career which he's promising in, he is taking practice tests for IT certifications online. But all of this, alllll of it. Just feels.. eh? Like... I'm going to have to be the one who is always holding up the world. I'm going to work harder, stay up later, do all laundry, say no to his parents asking for loans, etc. 

I love him, why couldn't we just stay the way we were? I'm so sad that we may not be well matched anymore. I'm terrified. He still tells me daily that I'm amazing, he's proud of me, I'm beautiful, etc. he tells me how attractive I am, how impressed he is by my choices. But I feel so guilty for not fully feeling the same way - because his actions and appearance don't match to what I've come to think I deserve in a partner. 

Will anything save us? Are we doomed? How do I continue daily while having these thoughts?