Asking for money
Hey guys,
So I started dating this guy about 2 months ago. We've never met in person. We were introduced through two mutual friends. And from the very first day, we really hit it off and have so much in common. We talk on the phone every day and I can really see a future with him. He lives a six-hour plane ride away from me and I was supposed to go see him last week. But due to covid, the trip got canceled last minute (He had already travelled to the city we were supposed to meet up). He has this course he wants to do next month, which is why I wanted to go visit him this month before he leaves for 3 months. Now he's asking me if he can borrow $1000 to do this course and that he will pay me back. That part of the money he saved for this course was spent on the trip. I can afford to lend him this money, but I'm afraid that this will set the tone for this relationship and he will always be asking for money. What should I do? Tell him no or give him a smaller amount and see how he reacts? How do you guys feel about giving a bf/gf money?
He should have long established friends or family he can ask for some money. I think he already set the tone of your relationship by asking you in the first place. Have you asked yourself how it cost him 1k to get to the city he traveled to in order to meet you that he no longer has that money? He should either save up that money again, ask a family member, or put it on a credit card and work to pay that off, if he needs the money now. I just feel like asking you for a sizable amount of money and then low key guilt tripping you into it by saying he spent the money on trying to see you, is suspicious. Obviously do what you think is best, you know him more than any of us would. But be careful
You indicated that you see a future with him. Then i see no reason to not assist him financially since you’re in a position too. However, maybe you should give him half of what he is asking and see where it goes from there. I agree its not something you’ll want him to get comfortable doing. If he asked again, set boundaries. He should’ve be aware of your financial situation as well. Play it safe. Too many men are looking for help from successful women under the disguise of relationship.