Bored?
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years. We met in 7th grade and started dating our sophomore year of high school. We moved in together when we turned 21 and are now both about to be 27 and nothing else has changed. No engagement or talk of, no kids or talk of, no real talk of moving from our small apartment...
We hardly ever argue, we get along great, we like most of the same things, he's my best friend but lately I feel like an asshole because I'm bored with it. We don't do anything, we don't go anywhere, there's no random week night outings, no date nights... Even our sex life is on an unspoken schedule... so not romantic!
I feel like I put in all the work. I clean, do laundry, buy groceries, make sure bills are paid, cook, along with working a full time job. He also works but lately I've realized he doesn't help me with any household chores until I argue with him about it and even then it only lasts maybe a week before he goes back to just letting me do everything.
I don't think I want to break up but I also know I don't really want to continue like this. I don't want to feel as though I'm taking care of him while getting nothing in return. Am I dick for thinking it should be a 50/50 partnership? I'm also afraid that talking to him about it will only lead to the break up if he feels I'm saying I don't love him. I do love him, very much.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting from posting this. Maybe advice on how to bring this up with him? Maybe just acknowledgement from someone who isn't me... I don't know what I want, really. I think I'm hoping an outside perspective might help me figure that out.
@fearlessSwift8585
Many people are in your shoes ...... it will only get better when your partner knows you will not take care of it all ..........and not just a week or two when they feel like it. ......................if you are bored and unsatisfied now .......where do you see yourself in 5 years / ten years ........ love is not enough no matter what songs/ books or movies portray .....
talk to each other in a good place not only when mad ...... if you are bored maybe they are too..... maybe they do not help if you do things like re-do as it was not your way ?
once i approached issues not when mad..... but in a way that shows ...i tried to put myself in his shoes ...gave him a different perspective like why i do things in a certain way / what items he did bothered me.............. Why it bothered me .......... has helped a lot....
The longer you wait the resentment builds up and you need a clean slate with room for error to change patterns you have fallen into