Boyfriend has Intrusive thoughts about me - need advice
im really in need of some advice, because I’ve been overthinking it for the past few days and I can’t seem to rationalize it with myself. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a few months now. We both feel very in love and dedicated to each other, as we both have expressed. He makes me so so happy and I literally do not know what I would do without him in my life.
well, recently he expressed to me that he was anxious because he was having intrusive thoughts about me. he said his intrusive thoughts basically were thoughts that he didn’t truly love me and so on. I could tell he was nervous about telling me, and I want to be there for him the best I can, but there’s a big part of me that’s really worried that there’s truth in his thoughts. He assured me that there wasn’t any truth in his intrusive thoughts, but they have been scaring him and stressing him out.
When I asked more about it, he said that his intrusive thoughts are mainly about me, and they only really started after meeting me. This is what leads me to be scared that it really has to do with me. I’m scared that maybe he’s not truly in love with me and it’s something with his subconscious or something. I’ve looked it up and the only thing that’s come up is relationship OCD, but I know he hasn’t been formally diagnosed with any form of OCD.
I’m just panicking, and I’m not really sure what to do. I’m not super familiar with this kind of stuff. If anyone has any advice or reassurance or any ideas, it would be greatly appreciated.
@Zulia
Well, a lot of people live with mental health conditions without being diagnosed. That isn't to say that he has got any kind of OCD, but I'm just saying.
I don't really know what advice to give besides maybe try to look at the facts instead of your feelings. What is the evidence that he doesn't really love you? What is the evidence that refutes that thought?
It's only been a few months together and considering you're both teens, this doesn't sound really like OCD, but just general worries about relationships. It's not abnormal to have thoughts about whether you really love the person you're with, especially when the relationship is still new. It's a whirlwind of emotions, and especially as a teen, emotions and the thoughts with them can be intense and confusing. I think it's best not to treat these thoughts as just false, but explore why they might be coming up. The content of the thought might not be accurate, but they could be the result of some other feeling or worry that isn't being explored. Talk about it together instead of trying to force them aside. Is he worried about the future? Are there some things between you two that might bother him? Is he feeling insecure? Is he just stressed about other life things? Is he scared of being vulnerable, or scared of being attached to someone? Is there a pattern of when those thoughts come up? There's lots of things that can bring those thoughts on, and unfortunately, not truly loving someone could possibly also be one reason, and although it hurts, that's okay too. But you can't really be sure until you talk together and he lets himself explore those thoughts. In all, you're young and it's a new relationship, I don't think it's something to overall worry about, in terms of mental illness at least.