Did I make a mistake?

I just got married about a month ago.

Something doesn’t feel right.

Things are different.

He’s starting act different, shutting down, acting passive aggressive (even about things he would jump to offer to do).

The way we communicate works sometime but a few times it’s gotten really bad.

I’ve made some mistakes pre-marriage and during that were close to infidelity but there was never any meeting or anything physically.

He has broken down during those times he had found out and discussed divorce.

The last time he took offer his ring.

Before we got married, we promised that we wouldn’t ever even say the “D” work because no matter what we would work it out.

He also brings up these moments and almost uses them as emotional artillery, especially when other things are happening.

Sometimes he’s amazingly supportive, just the person I need for what I’m going through. But other times, he shuts off. States into space. It triggers me and reminds of my Dad when he had a mental breakdown.

I feel judged by him at time for things I say or do.

I don’t feel appreciated like I did.

And I don’t feel understood or heard like I did either.

Lastly to mention, our sex life has become a bore to me.

I will note I’m take a new medication that has a direct side effect of sexual dysfunction or low libido, but when we are intimate I hardly feel any pleasure.

Even things he used to do don’t feel the same.

I’m usually just waiting for it be over, but fortunately (and so could say unfortunately but i don’t feel anything anyway) he doesn’t last very long.

I don’t what to do.

Sometimes I adore him.

Others time I cringe when he touches me. I feel like I just want him to go away.

I suffer from mental illness and I acknowledge that could play a huge part in this. I also past trauma from relationships.

My heart seems to be telling me something but I can’t hear it.

Would any be kind to offer some advice?