Dropping hints I am not interested
I have been dropping hints with someone of the opposite sex who I am not interested in dating as I don't see us together as a couple. Though he seems like a nice guy, he has disabilities and doesn't seem like he would get good dating material for the following reasons
1. He seems like he doesn't take care of himself
2. He is pushy
3. He has made it clear he is possesive of women
4. I don't really know him and he wants to jump into a relationship with me too fast
5. He has a temper
6. He is also good friends with another frenemy of mine and another close female friend
When I mentioned that I thought he was nice and wanted to get together in a group setting, he had a tantrum via text and also made it clear that he is possesive. "I want the ladies to see I am a loving man next to being protective of them." It made me feel uncomfortable.
1. I don't talk to him via social media and text that often. If he does text me, I use one word but don't say alot. I also hide my posts from him on social media becaus he compliements on everyone of them.
2. I have decided to limit seeing him in person
3. I don't invite him to places
@Summershy That's good that you are aware of a lot of red flags and it definitely doesn't sound like a good idea to date him. Just my two cents, but I personally prefer directly saying that I just see someone as a friend, although I understand why that might be hard if this guy reacts so intensely.
@Daydreamer47
Backstory: He also wants to meet a new girlfriend since things didn't work out with his last one. Though they are still friends, he evidently dislikes her because it sounds like a pre-occupied relationship. I used to be aquainted with her when I was close with my ex friend. He and I agree that she's a very difficult and often rude person. However, she battles with mental illness and intellectual disabilities. He was also recently dumped by my ex friend who is weird and has serious issues of her own. For example, she's very self absorbed. From what he told me, she just finished with the love bombing stage where she would call him three times and hang out with him as a friend, which her husband was cool with. From what he said, she recently started stonewalling him and brushing him off with excuses. However, he has been meeting lots of new friends lately and has been looking for a girlfriend that way. Yet he is scared that no one will like him.
While I am happy for him and I think he is a nice person, I don't know him and I feel like I would be babysitting as well. I also think he and I would bring out the worst in each other because I have a temper and a strong personality myself.
@Daydreamer47
Hi, I have an update. He texted me again wanting to hang out one on one but I told him that I would like to get to know him as a friend in a group setting. He threw a fit and started guilt tripping me "That's because you're afraid of me." I told him that I am not interested and don't think it would work. So he agreed to leave me alone and deleted my number,
While I think he's a nice guy, I feel we would not be compatible and I don't want date or be friends with someone who is good friends with my toxic ex friends. She hurt me really bad which was very traumatic. I also don't want to deal with his ex girlfriend as she is a difficult person.
@Summershy I'm so proud of you for setting that boundary with him and sticking to your guns. *hugs* The way he reacted shows that he is not good at respecting boundaries, and you made the right decision. Positive, healthy friends and connections should respect your boundaries and take a "no" respectfully.
@Daydreamer47
Yeah, there were too many red flags in that situation. According to another friend, he not only has a bad temper but he's apparently been to jail as well. That said, I can now say that it's safe to forget about him and focus on my other friends and look for someone who I am more compatible with.
I had this conversation with him twice in the last three weeks. He also hinted that he is a loving person who is protective of the ladies. The last couple times we texted, left me feeling icky. I was thinking, he is toxic. I blocked him so he cannot contact me anymore.
I appreciate all your help, I told one of his other friends. He explained that is well aware of this guy’s issues. It sounds like he throws a fit with him as well.