Giving him some time
Hey,
I have connected with a new guy from an improv comedy group and we've been on a couple of dates one on one. I've been friends with him in the group for a while. We have been intimate a bit but I stopped him the last time to tell him that I really like him and don't just want something casual. I felt frustrated because he said that makes sense, but didn't really answer what his intentions are. He said that he likes just being with me and cuddling one-on-one and he does like me. I think maybe he might be concerned that we have a lot of mutual friends, so I guess for now I will give it some time and try to circle back to ask again what he is looking for. My negative thoughts and ruminating are just kind of wild though like I am afraid again here is somebody I trusted who maybe just tried to use me. I know I am jumping ahead though and kind of catastrophizing; I just feel so angry and distrustful from experiencing sexism/objectification and getting hurt in the past.
-Day
@Daydreamer47
Seems like you're seeing the situation objectively and you even recognized the thinking pattern. It made sense that it is not easy for you to trust again after an unpleasant past experience.
Would it make it better to be clear from the beginning or if you get the answer soon, regardless what it will be?
I hope things will turn out for the best for you!
@ouiCherie Hi, thanks for your response and support. <3 Yes, I do definitely agree and prefer to have things be clear from the beginning, but I didn't want to hound him since I tried to have the conversation once. As an update, we've been on two more dates since then. Both were kind of active dates/events where I didn't feel like I had a good chance to talk to him or kind of chickened out tbh lol. I texted him after our last date on Sunday saying I had wanted a chance to talk more. Idk if that's too subtle but I'm hoping it will give me a better segue to try to clarify things again since we have gone on more dates and he seems like he's pretty interested.