Help: I am Single & Jealous of My Friend
Hi, ok so let me start off and say I know how I sound. And I am not proud of it which is why I am asking for advice.
So, I am 25. let me say the last couple of years life has kicked my ass in every department: family, relationships, finances, etc. I really just want a break or some sort of happiness.
My roommate is my best friend. But I am feeling jealous that she doesn't have as hard of a time dating as I do. Sure shes had breakups and heartbreaks. But not nearly the track record of failures and heartbreaks as I have had. In April she broke up with this guy she dated for 8 months and then she meets an even hotter, more mature, and established man while we are out and about. Even though things usually end in breakups for her, She has gotten to experience men brining her flowers, romance, and taking her on nice trips. I have yet to do that and Idk why she has an easier time.
never see men out that I would talk to. And I’ve tried to dating apps for the last 7-8 years. The men I date it always fizzles so quick or turns into long teem situationships . Now I am single and taking a break because I feel like I am out of ideas.
I don't want to ruin this for her. I just don’t know why the Universe has not been as kind or favorable to me. I feel bad for feeling this way.
@Cheri75
It is easy to envy. It is not wrong of you to feel the way you do. You simply also want what she has and wonder what went wrong with you. I get it. I sometimes get that too. I often reminds myself, I don’t actually want what they have. I just do because they make it looks so good but in actual truth it is not as “good” as it seems.
For example. Majority of my friends/associates are married. Sometimes I feel left out or left behind. Then I think of how it feels like to have kids, have husband, have this and that. Then, I’m like “that’s just gonna add more stress to my life.” I have big babies (siblings) to look after and two very difficult to deal with parents - that is a lot of stress already, don’t even add the bills in. So I just think of the drama and trouble it will bring me for my envy to go out the door. In your case, my train of thought would be: yea, it looks romantic and she is so desirable but I actually don’t want that # of break-up. I really just can’t deal with MY heartache so I don’t want to be like her.
I think just cause the guys are coming around and bring her romantic stuff - doesn’t meant the relationship is good. Probably something is wrong considering that her # of breakup is adding up.
Instead of looking at what she has, think of what you want and need. I think despite how you feel, you already know what you need and is doing the best you can to give it to yourself.
