Honestly confused
I met a guy on a dating site. We started hanging out and things did get physical. After a few times we talked and he said that he “didn’t think he’d make a good boyfriend right now.” We talked about it and agreed that as long as we were honest about things that a FWB situation was fine. The confusion comes in because he doesn’t act like we’re just friends. He calls or texts when he’s upset because he says he trusts me and I make him feel better. When we are together he tells me how much he misses me when we’re apart and how much he’s thought about me. He holds me and is super affectionate to a point that if I move away at all he pulls me closer or moves closer himself. I don’t know… I would love someone to talk this through with me privately. Or if anyone has any insight… I will take all I can get.
@thoughtfulAcres3431 Hi!
That sure sounds confusing. May I know if you actually agree to be his fwblike did you truly accept that you're being fwb with your heart and it's not a forced decision? I can understand that his gestures seem more than we thought it would be. If you're uncomfortable with his gestures, I'd suggest you try to talk about this again with him. I'm sure you would love some explanation from him about how he's taking this relationship. And I'd suggest for you to ask him to be honest with you about the relationship. This is a commitment where our hearts wanted and there should be nothing to play with especially our feelings. It's ok if you felt confused and uncomfortable about it, your feelings are valid.
Feel free to message me if you want more explanation, support or ask any further questions :)
Having another talk and establishing clear boundaries will help you both. Sometimes things can get blurred and people can change their mind (especially in a fwb situation). I am here to help if you need it
Hello, I was actually in a similar situation before. However the roles were reversed. I was the one who couldn't commit to a relationship because I didn't think I would be a good girlfriend at the time. The other party was just like you, he brought up the fact that he felt a little confused because I was as affectionate and attached to him like a real girlfriend would be, so why the fwb situation? Personally speaking (it may be different for your situation idk), I did really like him and I enjoyed his company very much that's why we did all the relationship stuff but without the relationship. However I wasn't in the right headspace to fully commit myself because I was going through a tough time and recovering from a previously toxic relationship. I was afraid of getting hurt and disappointed again so all I wanted was the companionship of a relationship but not the complicated feelings that came with it. Hope that helps
Did you ever get to a point of committing? Or am I wasting my time waiting around for him? We talked again the other night and he told me that what we have is clearly more than just physical, but he just wasn’t ready for anything serious yet. I know that ultimately your feelings are not necessarily his, but it would help to know whether or not it is likely to go anywhere.