How do u handle emotions?
I have a complicated story to share and if you read to the end, id really appreciate done advice if you've got any because I've really been struggling with this.
So about 6mo ago I worked with someone at my cafe who I got along with really well. He was around for only a few months before he found a better job, but in that time, I developed a ridiculously massive crush on him. We hung out once or twice outside of work and that was really it but I never wanted to say anything about my feelings out of fear of rejection. I've never had a romantic relationship with someone before so I've got no clue how to handle my emotions with these sort of things. As the crush progressed, I reluctantly tried to fight it. I Would try to list things I didnt like about him to try to persuade my feelings to change but it never really worked. I later found out from another coworker just before he left that he apparently had a crush on one of our customers all along! This and his physical absencemade it easier for me to start to forget him. I never really forgot though... I'd find myself thinking about him occasionally and still wishing he was around. Well now... About 6mo after he left, here's a plot twist for you. He just recently started going to my gym. Great. Just as i thought I was moving on. I said hi and we breifly caught up and we continue to say hi when we see each other in the gym. So now all of these feelings are rushing back in. In a complicated string of acquaintances, I find out that my mom has known him and his dad since we were little. My brain is screaming at me that this is fate and the rest of me is telling me not to fall all over again and this mental tug of war is exhausting. I doubt I could ever say something because I dont even think I should. I don't want to have this crush because I dont think it's ever going to go anywhere. At the same time tho, I think I kind of enjoy the feeling of being in love and fantasizing. I feel like a moth drawn to a flame and i keep on getting closer. I really don't kno how to manage my feelings nor the situation itself. If anyone has advice for a lovesick stranger, please lend me your words. I'm desperate.
@diplomaticAvocado1390
Hey, this sounds like it's weighing heavy on your mind today! I don't know your specific coping skills, but I would say you probably have three options. You could tell him how you feel (I know this is easier said than done!), in which case you'd have a concrete answer on his feelings which would help you progress. You could pine after him and not tell him about your feelings (I don't recommend), which will realistically only lead you back to the same position of feeling troubled. Or, you can decide to use your coping skills to let him go. Sometimes I find that when I have an especially strong crush on someone, sometimes spending some time on self care and treating myself kindly can go a long way in tempering those flames.
Remember, there IS someone out there for you and whether it's this guy or not- your growth is what will lead you to the right relationship!
@diplomaticAvocado1390 It is definitely up to you, but it could be good practice to try to express that you're interested. Even if he says no, you will have taken that step to go out of your comfort zone and practice communication. Good luck.