I can't stop feeling jealous when my boyfriend masturbates
I know it's stupid. And I do respect the fact that his body belongs to him and mine is my own. But when my boyfriend has a solo session I feel as left out and jealous as I would feel if someone else were giving him pleasure. There was a situation where he masturbated to the point that it hurt him, hurt our relationship and kept us from being able to have sex until he healed. Ever since then, I've been dealing with a lot of unwanted emotions. I want to be the one to give him that pleasure in the moments he wants it, to give him a helping hand whenever he needs a quick stress relief, and I feel jealous when I don't get to share that with him. I hate feeling like I'm not needed, like I'm not enough, like no matter what I do it will never compare to something he can get outside of me. He's reassured me that he is satisfied with our sex life, but it's hard to believe him, and I overcompensate because I fear being replaced. I don't want to feel this way, but I don't know how not to.
@fairmindedBike8859
It is perfectly normal and OK for people to have solo sessions... it is NOT a reflection on their partner either....
i can see why you might feel if you could be everything he would not do that anymore ..... but i think that is a bit unrealistic.
You are not replaced but if you can not get over these feeling and make it difficult for him it will become a wedge.
I can't understand how hard this must be for you, and the relationship.
It's always good to have an open and honest talk between the partners, and talk about what they need and why they need it. Just have an open mind and listen to him and you can tell him how it makes you feel. Let me tell you, talking definitely helps.
Sorry a typo, *I can understand.
@fairmindedBike8859,
it's absolutely normal to master bate and it's got nothing to do with him not loving you.
Seems like it makes you feel insecure. Question is, why.
I understand the feelings you've penned down.
It's hard because you dont want to be seen as insecure or controlling but the reality is, what is happening in the relationship is triggering feelings that you have to deal with.
He mast*bates from time to time and likely did so before the relationship. Are you observing changes in him and in the relationship which are causing you concernbecause thats the deeper question?
Have you always known that he enjoys this or does it seem its more frequent now?
Are your feelings being triggered by this or do you feel these type of emotions have sometimes come up even before the relationship? This is for you to personally answer as it may help to identify why they are there.
No blame, no judgement!
I had to deal with this in a past relationship and my self esteem went so low, people didn't understand why it was such an issue for me (they even told me that many others wouldn't have a problem with it) which caused me to retreat.
It is usual for partners to mast*bate but there's a reason you feel like this about it.