Mixed feelings
Hi,
I've posted about the same person before but I'm back. I'm in an open relationship or fwb with this guy who has another partner and can only hangout every two to three weeks. I have strong feelings for him so for now I'm still seeing him and am meeting up with a new person this week. I am still hoping to keep seeing him while looking for a more primary partner, but at times I feel resentful of how distant he is and may eventually change my mind and just want a break. I feel like expressing how I feel more to him in person is something I should do, but it's hard when we don't see each other very often.
@Daydreamer47
Hi there--everything you've shared makes sense to me. 💜 You like your primary partner a lot, but you're not happy with how distant he is. You'd like to sit down and talk through your expectations/needs with him if possible so you can improve the situation and maintain the relationship. But if you aren't able to (e.g. because maybe you can't see him) or if the discussion doesn't result in the kind of progress/changes you're hoping for, then you're open to the idea of taking a break--so that you're not sinking too much energy into a relationship where you feel like your needs aren't being met.
@QuietMagic Yeah sort of. The issue is that he can't be my primary partner though, so I am working on finding someone who can be more primary. There also isn't really much that it seems like he can change, since he is not willing to see me more frequently or be more serious. I am very afraid to take a break because of my feelings for him and not wanting to lose my connection with him, so for now I am still seeing him until I connect with someone else and then will see if my feelings about the situation change.
@Daydreamer47
Got it, thanks for the clarification:
- You know that the guy you're currently with isn't going to work as a primary partner in the long-term and that things aren't likely to improve with him in any of the ways you'd like (i.e. meeting more often, him being more serious)
- So you're looking for a new primary partner
- But you want to stay connected with him in the meantime until you find someone, and when that happens you'll reassess what to do with him
