My boyfriend going out with friends
Hi, i need some help.
My boyfriend of almost one year sometimes (like twice a month) goes out with his frieds, colleges etc. without me. I want him to have fun, but i am always so stressed and cant sleep until he calls me, that he is home. He is often drinking lots of alcohol and then he goes clubbing. I am scared that he looks there at other women and thinks about them. He told me multiple times, that he would never cheat on me, he has only me in his mind and does not have a reason to do that, but i am still scared. I am also scared that he will be so drunk, he wont be able to control his behavior, even when this has never happened. I dont know why i always think about stuff like that, its so hard to sleep and i only think about him, if he is okay and if hes not flirting with other women. How can i stop doing that? I also think that i am kind of jealous that he is having fun without me and therefore i think that with me is not that kind of fun for him and other people are better.
@Alphi
It sounds like your stress mainly stems from your worry of him excessively drinking when he's out with his friends. While you seem to trust he will not cheat on you while sober, that trust doesn't extend to him running on "impaired judgement". It is perfectly natural and healthy for people to have friendships even while being in a relationship, that on it's own doesn't need to cause this high level of stress and worry every time.
We have a self help guide on boundaries, maybe have a look if you'd like to see if it can offer any options on setting appropriate boundaries within friendships and relationship to avoid the stress.
https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
I hope it helps!
Have you talked to him so he knows how you feel? I know if my girlfriend was uncomfortable with something I would try and help her feel better. Would it help if you went out with them sometimes to see how they are?
