Narcissistic abuse
For the last 2 years my bf has been telling really mean and hateful things cause I found out that he watched porn. And instead of just telling me the truth he told me that I wasn't good enough for him, I was unattractive, porn was better than me, I didn't put out when he wanted me to, that I was just too anorexic (which I'm not), that he could feel the pornstars on his penis when he was getting off, and their reactions were because of him, he BLAMED ME for HIM watching porn.
Every mean and hateful thing he was telling me he swore was the truth and forced it down my throat as such. to the point where he made me believe them as the truth. All of his lies caused us to argue constantly because I would question the lies he told me. Then after arguing he would promise that he would change for the better and stop lying, things would be good for a couple days and he would go right back to hurting me .
All the arguments and fake promises lead to us breaking up for a couple weeks, and getting back together as a FRESH START everything was good for about 2 weeks until I found out that he had been asking women for nudes behind my back since we had gotten back together. When I had asked about it he told me that he has NO SEXUAL INTENTIONS for the pictures. "I just wanted a picture to have a picture"
When I did find out about the nudes he told me the truth and deleted the app of which he was asking on. And admitted that he was very manipulative and narcissistic and wants to actually change for the better. But I don't trust him he has hurt me so much but I don't see being with anyone else. And idk what to do, I'm just so scared that he'll hurt me again.
That was a very personal thing to share, thank you for sharing it with everyone.
If he doesn't change can you see yourself living like this for the rest of your life?
If you don't leave now do you think you ever will?
It's so incredibly hard to find the confidence to know you deserve better and will find someone who treats you right after you've been put down and abused for so long. You believe their lies and what they tell you, even if you tell yourself you don't. It sits in your subconscious whispering horrible things to your mind all the time.
You are strong, you are powerful. You and only you have the means to make your life beautiful, full of love and meaning and surround yourself with people that help you grow and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
It's hard to understand why some people stay, until you're in that situation yourself.
It's your choice, but if you do decide to leave, just know that you can and will find someone who will treat you as good as you treat them.
I personally don't have an issue with porn in my relationship, but if he said what you said your significant other said, it would be a problem.
You deserve more than you think you do. If you believe in yourself and learn to love yourself again then the world opens up to you
What did you end up doing? Trying to decide if leaving my narcissistic BF is the right thing to do
