Relationship and mental health
I've been talking to this girl for a couple months now. We just got done with our 4th date and just yesterday she told me heavy stuff in her private life. I also like to point out I'm an over thinker, also dealing with high anxiety and was diagnosed with Autism when I was 4. But jus yesterday she told me something private and I worried so much i needed confinement and long story short i accidentally gave a couple friends my girlfriends personal private issue which didnt sit well. I was so ashamed.. I'm here to ask for guidance and need help managing my anxiety and to think better for my girlfriend. Like I said, After the 4th date I already did her wrong. How do I manage to think better and clearer from my girlfriends perspective and not stress so hard I have the inability to think of another persons perspective?
@AnthonyScoobz822
Thank you for being open and sharing here. If your friends and your girlfriend are in separate circles (i.e. if they are unlikely to know or talk to each other) then this is probably not so bad. If they know each other, that is probably a problem.
If they know each other, and your girlfriend is someone you deeply care about, then you owe it to your girlfriend to tell her of your mistake. It is much better for her to find out from you than any other way.
In the future if you're looking for a safe place to share confidential struggles, talking to a listener here would be great. You can tell them all of your girlfriend's struggles and that is no problem at all.
As an fellow autist, I believe in you. You can do this. Your strength is that you can speak directly. Tell her directly. Tell her that you understand why this is a problem, and that you have learned and will not do it again.
Best wishes.
Hi @AnthonyScoobz822,
I'm an over-thinker at timers too. Creating your own stories, and creating mayham out of nothing, What happens to me is that my emotions take control. I got my self a therapist to help me to recognize when I'm getting emotional. Because if I get emotional, it's too late. It requires a lot of persistence, awareness and mindfulnes. It definitely is helping me. Take care!
I'm not sure what she told you...but a 4th date is a little early in for emotional baggage. I'm not saying you were right for asking advice from your friends or that you were wrong. You sought advice from a support group that you trust because what ever her problem is maybe to big for you to take on. I know she probably feels betrayed but, she did lay a lot on you early in the relationship. Maybe you need to think about how her problems stress you out. It may not be the right time for you to take on a relationship that causes that much anxiety right at the start. I know from my experience when there is that much drama in the beginning it usually is just the beginning. Explain to your girlfriend that the problem stressed you out and you went to a support group you know and that your intention was not to hurt her but to help you find a way to help or handle the situation that you have now been brought in to.
