Starting over
My fiancé left me on Christmas, my birthday. I’d spent the last two years building a life with him, helping to raise his son and stepping into a bonus mama role. We’d been discussing building a house and having kids in the coming years. Him leaving me was unexpected and I’m struggling to process feelings and emotions. I bought the camper we were living in, so I took it when I left. It no longer feels like home. He threw a hissy fit because his baby mama is friends with me now and he’s decided to try to make me feel like the bad guy. I don’t want to block him (although that’s probably the better option), but every few days he messages me. I got one yesterday morning from him but have managed to not open it yet. It’s killing me to even see the notification, but it’s also killing me not knowing what it says. How do I even begin to heal? How do I work on moving on? How do I cut the cord and just ignore/block/delete him? I thought he was my person. I’d have gone to the ends of the earth for him. I know the relationship really was pretty toxic, and I know I can’t take him back, but something’s just…. Idk. I haven’t had an issue cutting people out/off in the past, but holy hell. I just…. I don’t know.
Hey @InsulinPrincess
2 years! No one gets over a 2 year long relationship over night, and I can only imagine how shocked, upset, and blindsided I would feel in your position. I've been there before, and it was so painful knowing someone just cut me out of their life like that, but we didn't know each other anywhere near 2 years. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Healing takes time, and this is, understandably, a hard hit.
Blocking him would be the best course of action. His messages serve as a constant reminder and may even serve a beacon of hope that you'll get together again. I know it's not easy. He's been in your life so long, how are you supposed to just not hear from him anymore? I had those thoughts when it happened to me.
But also, if you have supportive people in your life, don't go through this alone. Understandably, you're having a hard time blocking him. If you can, open up to people who can support you through this process, motivate you to cut him out of your life, and be with you as you grieve. And if you don't have people like that in your life, then that's what we're here for at 7 Cups.
Be kind to yourself. It's a long process, but you're strong.
